Q. What did one gay sperm say to another?
A. How do we find an egg in all of this shit?
Author: admin
ZOOLOGY TEST
A young college student had stayed up all night studying for his zoology test
the next day. As he entered the classroom, he saw ten stands with ten birds on
them. Each bird had a sack over its head; only the legs were showing. He sat
straight in the front row because he wanted to do the best job possible. The
professor announced that the test would be to look at each of the birds’ legs
and give the common name, habitat, genus and species.
The student looked at each of the birds’ legs. They all looked the same to
him. He began to get upset. He had stayed up all night studying and now had to
identify birds by their legs. The more he thought about it the madder he got.
Finally he could stand it no longer. He went up to the professor’s desk and
said, “What a stupid test! How could anyone tell the difference between birds by
looking at their legs?” With that the student threw his test on the professor’s
desk and walked to the door.
The professor was surprised. The class was so big that he didn’t know every
student’s name so as the student reached the door the professor called, “Mister,
what’s your name?”
The enraged student pulled up his pant legs and said, “You tell me buddy! You
tell me!”
Why Nagging a Man Doesn’t Work
Woman: ‘This place is a mess! C’mon, you and I need to clean up, your stuff is lying on the floor and you’ll have no clothes to wear if we don’t do laundry right now!’ What a man hears: blah, blah, blah, blah, C’MON YOU AND I blah, blah, blah blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES, blah blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW!
Blonde
What do u get when the blonde wakes up firstA.Bed HEad
Question and answer Christmas joke
Q: What’s the most popular wine at Christmas?A: “I don’t like sprouts” !
Top Ten Reasons for being Indian
1. Large choice of languages
2. Fleshy actresses
3. Taj Mahal
4. Chicken Tikka Massala
5. Can model volatility and money at risk in 7 computer languages
6. Can communicate chiefly with head movements
7. A Patel is never lonely in the phone book
8. Kapil Dev
9. Keep saying “please” meaning it
10. 6 spicy papadums, pickles and a Kingfisher
Airplane in Trouble
First man: Hey did you know that my airplane got caught in a heavy
storm. The engine was leaking and it was raining.
Second Man: Then it is a miracle that you landed safely on the
ground and nothing happened to you.
First Man: Who said the airplane was flying?!!
Sparks
There once was a man from Montrass,
Who had balls that were made of fine brass.
In stormy weather,
They both clanged together,
And sparks flew out of his ass!
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing
Work is the curse of
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
How did you get a hole in your left hand?
A blonde went to the doctor’s office and the doctor said “How did you get a
hole in your left hand?” The blonde replied, “I wanted to commit suicide so I
took a gun and put it up to my chest, but then I thought �This will mess up my
$3,000 boob job’ So I put the gun up to my nose and thought ‘This will mess up
my $2,000 nose reconstruction.’ So then I decided to put the gun to my ear. Now
I’m afraid of noises so I put my left hand up to my other ear and pulled the
trigger.”
Help She’s Drowning!
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw his wife flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man started to scream for help. A trout fisherman ran up.The man said, “My wife is drowning and I can’t swim. Please save her. I”ll give you a hundred dollars.”The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes, he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, “Okay, where’s my hundred?”The man said, “Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my mother-in-law.”The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, “Just my luck. How much do I owe you?
You’re a redneck … you painted racing flames
You’re a redneck if …. You painted racing flames on the John Deere.