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Tres hombres se encontraban desolados

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Tres hombres se encontraban desolados y casi muriendo de inanici�n en medio de un bosque, cuando de repente se les aparece un genio y les dice: “Soy El Genio, como estoy borracho hoy, ando de celebraci�n, as� pues tengo para cada uno de ustedes un deseo, pidan lo que quieran y les ser� concedido…”

Al oir esto los tres hombres aceptaron inmediatamente, entonces el genio les dijo:

“Yo les conceder� lo que quieran, pero deben correr a lo largo del puente que atraviesa esa quebrada y tirarse, que abajo de �l les esperar� su deseo.”

Dice el primer hombre:

“Yo quiero Mujeres” corre y atraviesa el puente y cuando cae, le reciben all� abajo muchas mujeres.”

Dice el segundo hombre:

“Yo quiero Dinero”, corre y atraviesa el puente y cuando cae le recibe una gran monta�a de d�lares.

Dice el tercer hombre:

“Yo quiero…” y cuando corre se tropieza y exclama: “�Mierda!”

What is it?

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One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises their hand.

The teacher says “See it’s long neck? What animal has a long neck?”

Sally holds up her hand and asks “is it a giraffe?”

“Very good Sally,” the teacher replies.

Next she holds up a picture of a zebra. None of the students holds up thier hands. “See the stripes on this animal? What animal has stripes?”

Billy holds up his hand and says “it’s a zebra.”

“Very good Billy,” the teacher replies.

Next she holds up a picture of a deer. None of the students recognized the animal. “See the big antlers on this animal. What animal has horns like this?”

Still no one guesses. “Let me give you another hint, it’s something your mother calls your father.”

Johnny shouts out “I know what it is, it’s a horny bastard!”

Racist Attack

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A Jewish man walks into a bar and sits down. He has a few drinks, when a
Chinese man comes in. The Jewish man jumps up and punches him in the face.

“Ouch!” the Chinese man says.

“What was that for?”

“That was for Pearl Harbor,” the Jewish man says.

“But I’m Chinese!”

“Chinese, Japanese, what’s the difference?”

And the Jewish man sits back down.

A few minutes later, the Chinese man walks up to the Jewish man and punches
him in the face.

“Ouch!” the Jewish man says.

“What was that for?”

“That was for sinking the Titanic,” the Chinese man says.

“Sinking the Titanic??? But that was an iceberg!”

“Ice berg, Goldberg, what’s the difference?”

Comparing butt and g

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A couple had been married 10 years. One afternoon, they were working in the garden together. As the wife was bending over pulling weeds, the husband said… ”Hey honey, you’re getting fat. Your butt is huge. I’ll bet it’s as wide as the gas grill.” Feeling the need to prove his point, he got out a yard stick and measured the grill, then his wife’s butt. ”Yep,” he said,” just what I thought, just about the same size.” The wife became mad and left him gardening alone. She went inside the house and didn’t speak to him for the rest of the day. When they retired to bed that evening, the husband cuddled up to his wife and said, ”How about it, honey? How about a little lovemaking?” The wife turned her back to him, giving him the cold shoulder. ”What’s the matter?” he asked. She replied… ”You don’t think I’m going to fire up this big A$$ grill for one little weenie, do you?”    

Unos reci�n casados, en la

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Unos reci�n casados, en la noche de bodas, hacen el amor como locos; con frenes� durante toda la noche. En la ma�ana, como no hab�a nadie cerca, se zambullen, desnudos, en un r�o cercano; el agua estaba muy fr�a. La muchacha observa a su marido y exclama:

�Oye, �con �se estuvimos toda la noche?�

��S�, y casi nos lo acabamos!�, responde el joven tiritando de fr�o.