What is Clinton’s codename?
The Unibanger
Author: admin
Pope Hugh Heffner
Did you hear about the new Catholic edition of Playboy? It’s got the same centerfold as the regular edition, but you have to pull it out at just the right moment.
Bin Laden’s Surprise
After getting nailed by a Daisy Cutter, Osama made his way to the pearly gates. There he is greeted by George Washington. “How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!” yells Mr. Washington, slapping Osama in the face. Patrick Henry comes up from behind: “You wanted to end the Americans’ liberty, so they gave you death!” Henry punches Osama on the nose. James Madison comes up next, and says, “This is why I allowed the Federal government to provide for the common defense!” He drops a large weight on Osama’s knee. Osama is subject to similar beatings from John Randolph of Roanoke, James Monroe and 65 other 18th-century American revolutionaries. As he writhes on the ground, Thomas Jefferson picks him up to hurl him back toward the gate where he is to be judged. As Osama awaits his journey to his final very hot destination, he screams, “This is not what I was promised!” An angel replies: “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?”
Wet fingers
A man and his wife got into bed for the night.
The wife had curled up ready for sleep and the husband
put his bed lamp on to read a book. As he was reading,
he stopped and reached over to his wife and
started fondling her pussy. He did this only for a very
short while then stopped and went back to reading his book.
The wife got up and started stripping in front of him.
The husband was confused and asked, “What the hell are doing,
taking all your jammies off?” The wife replied,
“You were playing with my pussy. I thought it was foreplay for
something a bit heavier”.The husband said,
No! I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the pages.
your mamma is like a tv. A 2 year old turns…
your mamma is like a tv. A 2 year old turns her on
Killed Your Rooster!
A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car followed by a large cloud of feathers.
Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, and rang the door bell. A farmer appeared.
The man, somewhat nervously said, “I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him”.
“Suit yourself,” the farmer replied, “the hens are round the back.”
Leave It To The Kids
A three year old walked over to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother
in the doctor�s office.
He inquisitively ask the lady, “Why is your stomach so big?”
She replied, “Im having a baby.”
With big eyes, he asked, “Is the baby in your stomach?”
She said, “He sure is.”
Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, “Is it a good baby?”
She said, “Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby.”
With an even more surprised and shocked look, he asked…
“Then why did you eat him?”
Ouch!!!!
ok a guy runs into a bar.
what do u think he says?
OUCH GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bad Breath
You’re breath’s so stinky I don’t know whether I should give you a breath mint or toilepaper!
Little Red
Little Red Riding Hood was getting ready to go and deliver a
basket of goodies to Grandmother when her mother stopped her,
saying “Little Red, you had better be careful in the woods
because the Big Bad Wolf is out today. If he catches you, he is
going to lift up your little red dress, pull down your little
red panties and fuck your little red socks off.”
“Oh I’ll be all right,” Little Red answered as she pulled out a
rather large shotgun from the basket she was carrying. Assured
that her daughter would be safe, she allowed Little Red to leave
the house and begin the journey to Grandmother’s house.
Along the trail in the woods Little Red came across her friends
the three little pigs (don’t ask what they are doing in the
woods, after all it is just a joke)
“Little Red, Little Red,” they called to her, “you had better be
careful because the Big Bad Wolf is in the woods today. He said
that if he catches you, he is going to lift up your little red
dress, pull down your little red panties and fuck your little
red socks off.”
After showing them the shotgun and assuring her friends that she
would be all right, Little Red continued her journey to
Grandmother’s.
Just then the Big Bad Wolf appeared and he said, “Little Red at
last I found you. You know what’s going to happen now, right? I
am going to lift up your little red dress, pull down your little
red panties and fuck your little red socks off.”
“I don’t think so…” Little Red replied as she leveled the
shotgun at the wolf. She then lifted up her little red dress,
and pulled down her little red panties and said, “you’re going
to eat me just like the book says….”
Blonde at the Library
A blonde goes to return abook at the Library. She say to the Librarian “There are too many words in this book.” The Librarian say “So your the one that stole our Dictionary.”
Employee Appraisal / Counseling Sheet
This form indicates employee performance in the position they
currently hold.
Knowledge
[ ] The son of a bitch really knows his stuff
[ ] Knows just enough to be dangerous
[ ] Only half a brain and is dangerous
[ ] Fucking brain damaged, his coffee cup has a higher IQ
Accuracy
[ ] Does excellent work if not preoccupied with pussy
[ ] Pretty good, only occasionally blows it out his ass
[ ] Has to take off his shoes to count to ten
[ ] Couldn’t count his balls and get the same number twice
Attitude
[ ] Extremely cooperative if you kiss his ass frequently
[ ] Brown nose in good standing
[ ] Often pisses off co-workers, thinks it’s his shop
[ ] Doesn’t give a shit, never did and never will
Reliability
[ ] A really dependable little cocksucker
[ ] You can rely on him at evaluation time
[ ] Can rely on him to be the first one out the fucking door
[ ] Totally fucking useless/worthless
Appearance
[ ] Extremely neat, even combs his pubic hair
[ ] Looks great at evaluation time
[ ] Flies abandon fresh dog shit to follow him around
[ ] Dirty, filthy, dirty son of a bitch
Performance
[ ] Works like a son of a bitch, if there’s money in it for him
[ ] Does all kinds of good shit at evaluation time
[ ] Works only if kicked in the ass every 2 minutes
[ ] Couldn’t do less work if he were in a fucking coma