If Cray ran Christmas…The holiday season would cost $16 million but would be celebrated faster than any other holiday during the year.
Author: admin
You’re a redneck … you wish your outhouse
You’re a redneck if …. You wish your outhouse were as nice as those at the
state park.
Air Conditioning
A customer was continually bothering the waiter in a restaurant; first, he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, walking back and forth and never once getting angry. So finally, a second customer asked why didn’t they just throw out the pest.
“Oh I don’t care.” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”
Knock KnockWho’s there?Uruguay!Uruguay who?You go
Knock KnockWho’s there?Uruguay!Uruguay who?You go Uruguay and I’ll go mine!
Pandora’s Hair Color
Was Pandora blonde or brunette?A: Brunette. The blonde they gave the box to couldn’t get it opened.
The Lad
Why did the lad get some gear?
Because he wanted it.
Q. Where does virgin wool come from?…
Q. Where does virgin wool come from?
A. Ugly sheep.
Era el cumplea�os de Pepito
Era el cumplea�os de Pepito y hab�a invitado a su fiesta a la ni�a que le gustaba, enotnces le dijo a la ni�a:
“Vamos a jugar al carro.
La ni�a le dijo que si.
Dijo Pepito:
“Primera velociadad: yo me quito la ropa.”
“Segunda velocidad: tu te la quitas.”
“Tercera velocidad: nos subimos a la cama.”
“Cuarta velociadad haces el amor.”
Para esto llaga su mam� y la ni�a le dice:
“�Qu� hacemos?”
Pepito responde:
“Mi carro no tiene reversa.”
The 3 Wonders of a Woman
1. They can give milk from their boobs.
2. They can bleed for five days straight without dying.
3. They can bury a 9 inch bone without even getting their nose dirty.
911
Why can’t a blonde dial 911?
She can’t find the eleven.
YO mama!!
Yo mama is so fat, she uses a paint roller to put on her
lipstick.
t
h
end
Firing squad
Three prisoners, an American, a German, and a Mexican, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad.
They bring out the American and stand him in front of the pole.
He points and shouts, “Tornado!”
They all look and the American runs away.
Next, they place the German in front of the firing squad. He yells “Earthquake!”
They all hit the dust and the German escapes.
Next up is the Mexican. He looks around and shouts “Fire!”