There once was a man from Peru,
Who fell asleep in a canoe,
He dreamed that Venus,
Was stroking his penis,
And awoke in a canoe full of goo!
Author: admin
Clinton’s Last Hurrah
I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as our
government underwent a peaceful transition of power. I was proud
as Mr. Bush took his oath of office.
I was sad as I watched Mr. Clinton board Air Force One for the
final time. It may surprise you that this made me sad, but
watching this part of the days festivities, I saw 21 U.S.
Marines, in full dress, with rifles, fire a 21 gun salute to the
outgoing President.
It was then that I realized how far America’s military had
deteriorated.
Every last one of them missed.
Pay for pizza
Q: How do you get a Maryland graduate off your porch?
A: Pay for the pizza.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Yisman
Little Boy
Knock Knock
Who’s there
A Little boy who can’t reach the doorbell.
Early shopping trip.
It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the defendant, “What are you charged with?”
“Doing my Christmas shopping early sir”, replied the defendant.
“Well that’s not an crime”, said the judge! “How early were you doing this shopping?”
“Before the store opened”, answered the prisoner.
Went Fishing, Got Caught
A man phones home from his office and tells his wife: “Something has just come up. I have a chance to go fishing for a week. It’s the opportunity of a lifetime. We leave right away. So pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and especially my blue silk pajamas. I’ll be home in an hour to pick them up.”
He goes home in a hurry and grabs everything and rushes off.
A week later he returns.
His wife asks: “Did you have a good trip, dear?”
He says: ” Oh yes, great! But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas.”
His wife smiles and says, “Oh no I didn’t. I put them in your tackle box!”
Bad breath
What do you call a bleached blonde standing on her head?
A brunette with bad breath!
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by yisman
Smooth
Men are like…..Chocolate Bars.
Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Christin
Un d�a, Jaimito llegaba de
Un d�a, Jaimito llegaba de la escuela y va a buscar a su madre a casa, buscando buscando, se le ocurre entrar en la habitaci�n de la madre, y se encuentra a su madre chingando con su padre.
Jaimito sorprendido les pregunta:
“Mam� �que haces?”
“Jugando una partida al mus.”
Jaimito se marcha a buscar a su abuela, para que le haga la merienda. Entra en la habitaci�n de la abuela y se encuentra a su abuela con el abuelo chingando con su abuelo. jaimito les pregunta:
“Abuelitos �que haceis?”
“Jugando una partida al Poker, le contesta la abuelita.”
Al cabo de un tiempo la abuela, el abuelo, el padre y la madre, entran todos juntos en ba�o, y se encuentran a jaimito masturb�ndose.
Todos sorprendidos le preguntan a jaimito:
“Hijito �que haces?”
“�Jugando a un solitario!”
Words can not describe the
Words can not describe the deep feelings I have for you …
But “Bitch” comes pretty close.
Dr.Harold Shipman
hollywood is to make a movie on the life of Dr.Harold Shipman,playing the part will be Robert De Niro, it is to be called “The old Dear Hunter”
Ten Times
The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, “Which human body
part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?”
No one answered until little Mary stood up, angry, and said, “You should not
be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and
they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
With a sneer on her face, she then sat back down.
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part
increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open; then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she
going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part
that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued, “As
for you, young lady, I have three things to say:
One, you have a dirty mind,
Two, you didn’t read your homework, and
Three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”