Author: admin

Three nuns went to a cucumber stand in an open market one day. They asked how much the cucumbers were. The merchant said that they were four for a dollar. The nuns said agreed to purchase four. The puzzled merchant asked why they needed four cucumbers when there were only three of them. A nun answered back, “Well, we could always eat one.”

Your breath stinks so bad people look forward to your farts.

Aconteci� que en Cuba hab�an capturado y matado al jefe de la guerrilla conocido como el ‘Gallo Valencia’, quien intentaba sacar a Fidel Castro del gobierno. Como necesitaban a alguien que lo identificara, mandaron a buscar a la ya conocida amante del guerrillero.

La concubina llega a la morgue y le muestran el cuerpo del muerto. Fidel le pregunta: “�Es �ste el Gallo Valencia?”

Ella responde: “Como que se le parece, pero �podr�a quitarle la ropa?

Fidel manda que se desvista al difunto y pregunta de nuevo: “�Es �ste el Gallo Valencia?”

Y de nueva cuenta la amante contesta: “Efectivamente se le parece mucho, pero necesito que le quiten los calzones”.

Fidel ordena al capit�n que le quiten los calzones al muertito, y vuelve a cuestionar: “�Es �ste el Gallo Valencia?”

La mujer declara: “Muy, muy parecido; pero para salir de dudas, �le pueden bajar el pellejo del pito para estar segura?”.

As� lo ordena Fidel, y el capit�n procede a bajarle el prepucio al finado. En ese momento la amante grita:

“�Es �l, �ste s� que es el Gallo Valencia!”

Fidel encabronado le pregunta a la mujer: “�C�mo supiste que �ste era el Gallo Valencia?”

“Es que �l me dijo que, a�n despu�s de muerto, Fidel y sus soldados le seguir�an pelando la verga”.

Two couples were playing cards. John accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed that Bill’s wife was not wearing any underwear! Shocked by this, John hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.

Later, John went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bill’s wife followed him and asked, “Did you see anything that you liked under there?”

John admitted that, well, yes he did. She said “You can have it, but it will cost you $100.”

After a minute or two, John indicates that he is interested. She tells him that since Bill works Friday afternoons and John doesn’t, John should come to her house around 2:00 PM on Friday.

Friday came and John went to her house at 2:00 PM. After paying her $100 they went to the bedroom, had sex, and then John left. Bill came home about 6:00 PM.

He asked his wife, “Did John come by this afternoon?”

Reluctantly, she replied, “Yes, he did stop by for a few minutes.”

Next Bill asked, “Did John give you $100?”

She thinks ‘Oh hell, he knows!’

Finally she says, “Yes, he did give me $100.”

“Good,” Bill says. “John came by the office this morning and borrowed $100 from me. He said that he would stop by our house on his way home and pay me back.

Llaman al m�dico de urgencias:

“�Doctor, mi hijo se ha tragado un preservativo, venga corriendo!”

“S�, s�, voy ahora mismo!”

El doctor estaba recogiendo el malet�n, cuando, de repente, vuelve a sonar el tel�fono:

“�Doctor?”

“�Si?”

“Soy la que le llam� antes. Que ya no hace falta que venga, ya encontramos otro preservativo.”

I repeatedly hear that pornography is difficult, if not impossible, to define. Nonsense. Nothing could be easier. Pornography is simply sexually oriented material which is damaging to the moral fibre of other people. There. Plain and simple. You will note that damaging and dangerous as pornography is, it never seems to damage the morality of the individual who has carefully studied the stuff and is now denouncing it. Must be something like the professional immunity physicians enjoy.People often wonder about the difference between “hard core” and “soft core” pornography. Another simple difference.”Soft core” pornography is that which gives one a soft-on. So there.

The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength.

He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes, the older worker had had enough.

“Why don’t you put your money where your mouth is,” he said. “I will bet a week’s wages that I can haul something in a wheelbarrow over to that outbuilding that you won’t be able to wheel back.”

“You’re on, old man,” the braggart replied. “Let’s see what you got.”

The old man reached out and grabbed the wheelbarrow by the handles. Then, nodding to the young man, he said, “All right. Get in.”