Q: What do Bill Clinton and the Mississippi River have in common?
A: Both are all wet, wander all over the place, and are controlled by dikes.
Author: admin
Entra un tipo a una
Entra un tipo a una pizzer�a abrazando a dos chicas: a su derecha una rubia estupenda y a su izquierda una morena despampanante, y le ordena al dependiente:
“Dos pizzas, por favor”.
“�Familiares?”
“No, son putas pero tienen hambre”.
Push, Pull or Get Outta
Push, Pull or Get Outta the Way.
Three things not to say in a gay bar!
1. Can I bum a fag off you?
2. I’ll toss you for the next shout!
3. Can I help you push your stool in?
You might be a Republican if…
You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.
Q. Why was the blonde so happy when she finished…
Q. Why was the blonde so happy when she finished the puzzle in 3 weeks?
A. Because the box said 4 to 5 years.
No Refills
A distraught patient phoned her doctor’s office. “Is it true”, the woman
wanted to know, “that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest
of my life?”
“Yes, I’m afraid so.” The doctor told her.
There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, “I’m wondering,
then, just how serious my condition is. This prescription is marked ‘NO
REFILLS.'”
Broken finger
A brunette goes to the doctor and as she touches every part of her body with her finger, she says, ‘Doctor it hurts everywhere. My leg hurts, my arm hurts, my neck hurts and even my head hurts.’
The doctor asks, ‘Were you ever a blonde?’
‘Yes I was,’ she replies. ‘Why do you ask?’
The doctor answers, ‘Because your finger is broken.’
The New Wife
The night before her wedding, the bride-to-be talked with her mother.
“Mom,” she said, “I want you to teach me how to make my new husband happy.”
The mother took a deep breath and began, “When two people love, honour, and respect each other, love can be a very beautiful thing…”
“I know how to fuck, mother,” the bride-to-be interrupted. “I want you to teach me how to make a great lasagne.”
A Quickie
George W. Bush and Al Gore went to a fancy resturaunt. The
waitress came and asked what they wanted. George said, “I want a
quickie.” The witress slapped him and walked away. George then
asked Al what he did wrong. Gore told him it that was pronounced
“queshe.”
A picture is worth a
A picture is worth a thousand words, but try saying that with a picture.
Bloodied Vampire
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it.
He told them to bug off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
“OK, follow me,” he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
“Now, do you see that tree over there?” he asked.
“YES, YES, YES!!” the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
“Good!” said the first bat, “Because I fucking didn’t!”