BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there?
Submitted by sai1ram
Edited by Curtis
Author: admin
Bean soup
When the waitress in a New York City restaurant brought him the soup du jour,
the Englishman was a bit dismayed. “Good heavens,” he said�, what is this?”
� Why, it’s bean soup,” she replied.
� I don’t care what it has been�, he sputtered. “What is it now?”
It’s cute
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
“It’s cute, but can it pick up peanuts?”
The man replied, “No, but it can pick up dates.”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
What does the Bermuda Triangle and sorority girls
What does the Bermuda Triangle and sorority girls have in common?
They’ve both swallowed a lot of semen.
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe
Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out LiteracyAutos Killing 110 a Day–Let’s Resolve to Do Better20-Year Friendship Ends at AltarWar Dims Hope For PeaceIf Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last A While
Yo mamas so dumb
Yo mamas so dumb she tried to throw a stone at the ground but she missed.
The Top 12 Signs You’ve Joined the Wrong Martial Arts School (Part I)
12. Lesson 1: A guy who looks and sounds like Danny DeVito in a bathrobe points to a pile of concrete blocks and says “Knock yourselves out, Grasshoppers.”
11. All the trophies in the display case appear to be altered bowling trophies.
10. Due to a misspelling of “Martial Arts” on the door, half the class shows up with vibrators and lotions.
9. Other students show up with sketchbooks.
8. Instead of belts, levels of prowess are denoted by colorful suspenders and co-ordinating ascots.
7. Although the Grandmaster’s hands “move faster than the eye can see”, you can still detect a fair amount of nose picking going on.
6. The lesson keeps getting interrupted while the Master swaps french fry baskets.
5. As a student is wheeled out by paramedics, the instructor says “Class, name 3 things Alan did wrong.”
4. You’re pretty sure “Monkey Style” does not involve masturbation and throwing feces at your attacker.
3. You practice kicks on a stage while sweaty men stuff dollar bills in your g-string.
2. Spent the first eight lessons learning to talk while moving your lips in a seemingly unrelated manner.
1. At the end of every class, your instructor says, “…or you could just buy a friggin’ gun.”
[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White ] [ The Top 5 List [email protected] http://www.topfive.com ]Iraqi Funerals
Why do Iraqis only have 2 pallbearers at their funerals?
Becasue garbage cans only have 2 handles.
Driving One Handed
A young man and his girlfriend were driving along one day. He noticed that she kept looking at him and smiling. Then she leant over and whispered in his ear, “can you drive using only one hand?”
“I sure can” he grinned, thinking his luck was in.
“Good” she said, “then wipe your nose” she said “it’s running”
Your mama so black
Yo mamma so black, when she gets out of the car the oil light comes on.
In The Hotel Lobby
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’m, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you’ll forgive me.”
She replies, “if your penis is as hard as your elbow, I’m in room 436.”
Chess
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing inthe lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about anhour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. ”But why?” they asked, as they moved off. ”Because,” he said, ”I can’t stand chess Nuts boasting in an open foyer.”