Author: admin

Estaban trabajando un grupo bastante grande de ilegales en un campo en los Estados Unidos, cuando de pronto lleg� la migra con dos camiones para llevarse a los pobres ilegales, y pues que se echan a correr todos para esconderse, menos uno, que al contrario de todos, sali� corriendo pero hacia los camiones de la migra, lleg� a uno, se subi� y se sent� r�pido. El oficial de migraci�n que manejaba el cami�n, todo sacado de onda por lo que ve�a le pregunt�:

“�Por qu� tu no corriste como tus dem�s compa�eros a esconderte?”

Y el ilegal todo cansado por la corrida que peg� le contesta:

“Pues la verdad es que ustedes ya me han agarrado cinco veces y las cinco pinches veces me he ido parado hasta Tijuana…”

Thoughts from a school teacher:

1. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you are a mile away and you have his shoes.

2. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station…

3. I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

4. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead?”

5. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

6. What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

7. I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

8. I have found at my age, going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of my face.

9. I was thinking about how people read the Bible a whole lot more when they get older. Then it dawned on me they were cramming for their finals.

10. Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of emergency. I think you should put “A very good doctor.”

there was a boy who’s parents were fighting he heard them call each other bitches and bastards he said mommy what does bitches and bastards mean? she said men and women. then they made up and went into the room the boy opened the door and heard his parents say nice dick nice tits so the boy said mommy what does dick and tits mean oh it mean coats and hats so then the dad is shaving in the bathroom the boy opens the door and the dad says shit the boy says daddy what does shit mean oh shaving so then the boy goes to his mom and she is in the kitchen cutting the turkey she accidentlsy cuts herself and says fuck! the boy says mommy what does fuck mean? oh cutting the turkey so then the doorbell rings and the boy says i’ll get it and he opens the door and says hi bitches and bastards hang your dicks and tits in the closet my mom’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey and my dads in the bathroom shaving the shit out of himself

Once , in a stormy night , a mans car broke down . He went to a house and knocked on the door . No one answered . He went to the backyard and looked through a window . He saw a women with a clock a in her hand and with the other she was squeezing her tit . Then he saw a man jacking off and pouring water over his head . The man went to the neighbors house knocked on the door and asked the neighbor , ” What is up with your old neighbors ?” ” Well , if the women was holding a clock and squeezing her tit , she was saying that it was time to milk the cow . If the old man was jacking off and pouring water over his head , he was saying fuck you , it is pouring outside .”