a nurse is walking past the morge. she walks past a guy with a large dick. she looks if any1 is around, then she talks off her clothes and rides his dick like its a horse.her boobs are flying around because they are so damn big. shes done,and she leaves. the dead guy is actually alive. he covers his head with the cloth and waits 4 another lady that cant find any1 to have sex with.
Author: admin
Poopie!!!!!
i make poopie u buat lickers
10 Things to do with AOL disks
[For the occasional hermit out there without a mail drop, America Online has been distributing “10 Hours Free” disks like crazy. They come with magazines, they come by themselves, they are attached to trade journals etc. I have about ten of them now. I have never expressed an interest in AOL but these disks keep mounting up.]
Collect two solar masses worth and detonate the sun.
Activate each account with a different cartoon character name like Bullwinkle, Barney Rubble, Tasmanian Devil, etc. See if you run out of names before you run out of disks.
Activate the disks one at a time. For each disk you activate, download enough files to fill up the reformatted activation disk. Don’t stop until you have downloaded all data AOL has to offer. Use remaining unactivated disks for backup of downloaded data.
Get 1000 people to all activate all of their disks at the same time. Monitor trade journals to see which disk storage manufacturer gets AOL’s order for new multi-terabyte drive to hold subscriber data base.
Tile your bathroom with your collection. Submit picture of bathroom to GQ (Geek Quarterly) magazine.
Donate disks to charity. Tell IRS that each disk contains $10 worth of software. Use resulting deductions to buy Lichtenstein.
Call the FBI and tell them that these disks are made from refined uranium and homes across the country will begin exploding as soon as they reach critical mass.
Activate all of your disk simultaneously using different ID’s. Making effective use of mail forwarding and distribution lists, bring AOL to a screeching halt by creating, sending, forwarding and reforwarding the following message among the various accounts: “Stop sending these f*****g disks.”
Erase all disks, put new labels on them and resell them as new. Retire at age 43.
Start pyramid scheme with chain letter that tells recipient to mail 1 disk to each of the five people listed in the letter and to send the letter to five more people.
Wood Eye
A man and his three friends are driving around one day when they happen to crash into the side of a bridge and completely wreck their car. While his three friends remained intact, the man had lost an eye and had to be rushed to the hospital. Once he arrived there, he discovered to his horror that they were out of glass replacement eyes, so they would have to give him a wooden eye.Because he was so ashamed of becoming a freak with a wooden eye, the man refused to leave the hospital until they discharged him a week later, and then for several weeks after he stayed in his house with no contact to the outside world. His friends, feeling incredibly guilty for their lack of injury, decided to take him out to a club to try and cheer him up.Though he was reluctant, he accepted. Once they were at the club, his three friends began dancing with girls, while he felt too shy about his eye to ask anyone. As the night wore on, he became more self-assured, and started asking some girls to dance, but was refused by all of them, because he was such a monster. After several of these refusals, the man felt so dejected he was about to leave, when the dancers parted and he could see across the hall a girl with vertical lips. These are lips that run up and down instead of side to side. Suddenly he regained his confidence, realizing that there was no way another freak would refuse him a dance.He strode across the dance floor up to the girl, and said “Hey, would you like to dance?””Would I?!” she replied. (you have to say the last part out loud to understand it)
Introduce yourself
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter.”Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, “I’m Jane Sugarbrown.”The Preacher spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, “Aren’t you Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter?”She replied, “I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.”
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are…
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking?
A. They all already have boyfriends.
Blond Science
What do you call a blond who dyes her hair burnette?
Artificial Intelligence!
Va un hombre al m�dico,
Va un hombre al m�dico, y �ste le dice:
“Oiga, que me duelen los cojones.”
Y el m�dico, tan asustado, dice:
“Un poco de respeto, mejor diga que le duelen los concejales. Pero bueno, yo le recetar� una medicina para el dolor.”
A los dos d�as vuelve al m�dico y le dice:
“Oiga, �c�mo van los concejales?”
Y con un suspiro de resignaci�n dice el t�o:
“Los concejales van bien, pero el alcalde no levanta cabeza.”
Q: How many Hobbits
Q: How many Hobbits does it take to change a lightbulb?A: 1 to complain that the lightbulb isn’t working, 5 to hold a meeting to decide what to do about it, 20 to form an expedition to the fabled Lightbulb Mines of Mythrill, 30 to throw a going-away party, 1 to ask Gandalf for directions, 1 to sell into slavery when the directions aren’t stuck to, and they end up in entirely the wrong part of the country, and ready cash runs low, 5 get lost through natural wastage (bandits, murderers, monsters, etc,) 1 to be thrown to the Dragon that guards the Lightbulb hoarde, 1 to be thrown to the dragon to cover the retreat, 2 to carry the box of lightbulbs, 5 to find a large, sword-wielding barbarian to escort them home with the lightbulbs, another 30 to throw a safe-return party, 5 to get rid of the barbarian, who in typical style, got drunk at the party, 5 to find an Elf in the neighbourhood tall enough to change the lightbulb, one elf, and 5 to compose ballads of derring-do, heroism, sacrifice and lightbulbs. A grand total of 118.
Un hombre entra en una
Un hombre entra en una farmacia.
“Por favor, deme algo fuerte para quedar bien. Porque esta noche tengo una cita con una rubia impresionante.”
El farmaceutico le alarga un bote con unas pildoras y le advierte:
“T�mese esto, pero cuidado que es m�s fuerte que la viagra, t�mese dos cada tres horas como mucho y ma�ana ya me contar�.”
El hombre sale de la farmacia y acord�ndose de la cita que le esperaba se olvida de la dosis del farmaceutico.
“�Qu� me dijo? �dos por hora? �tres? Bueno, da igual, cuantas m�s mejor.”
Diciendo esto se tom� todo el bote. Y al d�a siguiente lo ve el farmaceutico con el brazo en cabestrillo y le dice:
“�Qu� tal anoche? �Dio guerra la rubia?”
“Calle, calle. �Ni se present�!”
The British Isles, it is said, are inhabited…
The British Isles, it is said, are inhabited by four nations.
The Scots, who keep the Sabbath, and everything else they can lay
their hands on.
The Welsh, who pray upon their knees and upon their neighbours.
The Irish, who don’t know what they want, but are willing to die for it.
And the English, who, considering themselves a race of self-made men,
thereby relieve the Almighty of a dreadful responsibility.
Banjo joke
Q: Why is the banjo player a fiddle player’s best friend?A: Without him, the fiddle would be the most hated instrument on earth.
Joke found on http://www.ahajokes.com