Author: admin

Are Computers Male or Female?

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As you are aware, ships have long been characterized as being
female (e.g., “Steady as she goes” or “She’s listing to
starboard, Captain!”)

Recently, a group of computer scientists (all males) announced
that computers should also be referred to as being female. Their
reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:

Five reasons to believe computers are female:

1. No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.

2. The native language they use to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.

3. The message “Bad command or file name” is about as
informative as, “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then I’m
certainly not going to tell you.”

4. Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory
for later retrieval.

5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

However, another group of computer scientists, (all female)
think that computers should be referred to as if they were male.
Their reasons follow:

Five reasons to believe computers are male:

1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.

2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the
time they ARE the problem.

3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had
waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.

4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.

5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

The Prince and the P

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Prince Charming gets very drunk at the ball and ends up staggering out of the palace and into the Royal Vegetable Garden. When the Queen realises that he’s missing, she sends all the palace guards out in search of her son.In just minutes, the head guard finds the errant prince having a jolly good time thrusting his royal dick into a hole in the side of a large, ripe pumpkin.”Prince Charming!” cries the guard.”Forgive me for interrupting, but… Do you realise you’re fucking a pumpkin?”The prince stops what he’s doing and pulls back to examine the violated pumpkin.”Oh, my,” says the drunken prince.”Is it midnight already?”

Entra un tipo cay�ndose de

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Entra un tipo cay�ndose de borracho a una cantina repleta de gente y de entrada dice: “�Todos son unos hijos de puta!”

Todos se quedan callados hasta que se levanta un negro de 2.10 m. de alto y le da una golpiza al borracho que lo deja tirado en el suelo. Al d�a siguiente se repite la historia, entra el borracho a la cantina y grita “�Todos son unos hijos de puta!”

El negro se vuelve a levantar y lo pone peor que el d�a anterior.

Al tercer d�a entra a la cantina y grita “�Todos son unos hijos de puta, menos el negro!”

El negro dice “�A m� nadie me discrimina!”, y le vuelve a dar soberbia paliza al borrach�n.

Mrs Johnson

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A man was sued by a woman for defamation of character.

She charged that he had called her a pig. The man was found guilty and fined.

After the trial he asked the judge, “This means that I cannot call Mrs. Johnson a pig?” The judge said that was true.

“Does this mean I cannot call a pig Mrs. Johnson?” the man asked. The judge replied that he could indeed call a pig Mrs. Johnson with no fear of legal action.

The man looked directly at Mrs. Johnson and said, “Good afternoon, Mrs. Johnson.”