En cierta ocasi�n, se re�nen

En cierta ocasi�n, se re�nen los ginec�logos de toda Colombia en una convenci�n nacional cuyo objetivo es intercambiar experiencias respecto de las anomal�as y problemas que en su vida profesional han encontrado en su ‘sitio’ de trabajo. En su intervenci�n, el decano de ellos expone:

“Estimados colegas, el caso m�s sorprendente que se me ha presentado es el haberme encontrado con un cl�toris como un mel�n”.

Ante esta afirmaci�n, los dem�s miembros de la convenci�n susurran:

“�Mi madre, el maestro desvar�a! �Es imposible encontrar un cl�toris con semejante hipertrofia, es necesario corregir al maestro, puede ser que la memoria le falle!”

Entonces, inician una especie de cruzada para determinar cu�l de los presentes lo corregir�. Como es l�gico, ninguno quiere emprender tan inc�moda tarea. Finalmente, uno de ellos se decide e increpa al maestro dici�ndole:

“Perd�n, doctor, �no cree usted que hablar de un cl�toris del tama�o de un mel�n es un poco exagerado?”

En aquel momento, el anciano galeno responde:

“�Y a usted qui�n le ha dicho que hablo del tama�o? Hablo del sabor, del sabor…”

Una maestra mexicana fan�tica de

Una maestra mexicana fan�tica de las chivas pregunta a sus alumnos quien le va a las chivas y todos los ni�os por miedo levantan la mano, menos Pepito.

La maestra le pregunta: “�T� a quien le vas, Pepito?”

“Al Am�rica.”

“�Por qu�?”

“Porque mi pap� le va al Am�rica, mi mam� tambi�n y toda mi familia tambi�n.”

“Y si tu pap� fuera un homosexual, tu mam� una prostituta y toda tu familia fueran rateros, �t� que ser�as?”

Y Pepito responde:

“�Seguramente chivista!”

Maths Specialist

A young jewish boy was doing very poorly in school, especially in mathematics. So, his father, after much deliberation, decided to send him to a catholic school because he’d heard that they were very good. For three months, the father didn’t see much of the son because he was always studying. On his first report card, he got all a’s. His dad was mystified by the incredibly excellent results and asked his son how it could be that he was doing so well. He’d expected improvement but this was really quite amazing! His son replied “well, I really knew they meant business that very first day when i walked into the classroom and they had that guy nailed to the plus sign!”

Systems Group

To: Management From: Systems Group
Re: Y-to-K Date Change Project Status
We are pleased to report that our staff has completed the 18 months of
“Y-to-K” work, on time, and on budget.
We have gone through every line of code in every program in every system.
We have analyzed all databases, all data files, including backups and historic
archives,
and completely modified dates in all software and all data to reflect your new
standards, as such:
* Months: January,
February
Mac,
Julk
* Days: Sundak,
Mondak,
Tuesdak,
Wednesdak,
Thursdak,
Fridak,
Saturdak
Our team is glad to help in any way possible, although honestly, the urgency
of this “Y-to-K” project has not made much sense to us, with all push to
complete this before the year 2000.
Speaking of which, what do you think we ought to do next year when the
two-digit year rolls over from 99 to 00?
That could cause some problems.
Regards,
System Group.

Debased, Deflowered, and Degraded

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed and dry cleaners depressed?Laundry workers could decrease, eventually becoming depressed and depleted!Even more, bedmakers will be debunked, baseball players will be debased, landscapers will be deflowered, bulldozer operators will be degraded, organ donors will be delivered, software engineers will be detested, the BVD company will be debriefed, and even musical composers will eventually decompose.On a more positive note though, perhaps we can hope politicians will be devoted.Continuing with that theme:banker disinterestedblackjack dealer discardedcabinet member disappointed”Cannabis Club” owner disjointedcashier distilledchemist dissolutionedC.P.A. discounteddetective dissolvededitor dispelledelectrician dischargedgeologist dismantledHamlet disdainedhero discouragedinventor disingenuousjockey displacedlawyer distortedmagician disillusionedmap maker disorientedMarine drill sarge disgruntledmarriage counselor disavowedmathematician disprovenmathematician (2) disintegratedmedium dispiritedmeteorologist disgustedmixologist disbarredmodel disposedmountain climber disinclinedmovie star discreditedOlympic skater disfiguredperfume maker dissentedprofessional mover dislocatedprospector disclaimedresidential developer distractedrock musician disbandedRodney Dangerfield disrespectedsaint disgracedseamstress dispatchedsinger discordsteel worker distemperedSupreme Court Justice disrobedthespian displayedvirologist disinfectedwarlock disenchanted

Gone to heaven

Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, ‘I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. Also. I want all the women to go with Saint Peter.’With that said and done, the next time God looked, the women were gone and there were two lines. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 160 km long, and in the line of the men who dominated their women, there was only one man.God got mad and said to the 160-km-long line, ‘You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image and your mates whipped you all. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him. Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?’And the man replied, `I don’t know. My wife told me to stay here.’