One night a guy was driving in the woods until his car broke
down.He was now walking in the woods,but then he stopped because
he say a cabin.He went up and knocked on the door.A man answered
the door.The guy asked the man if he could spend the night.The
man said yes as long as he dosent go near any of his three
daughters.The guy ok.Later that night the guy was walking down
the hall.A girl came out of one of the doors.She is the oldest
daughter.(18)She asked the man to help her with something.The
guy said he couldnt because her farther said he cant go near
them.The girl said,if you dont I will spread red ink all over my
sheets and say you rapped me.So he helped her.When he came out
he went down the hall even more.Then the middle aged daughter
came out.(14)She asked the man to help her with something.The
guy said he couldnt because her farther said he cant go near
them.The girl said,if you dont I will spread red ink all over my
sheets and say you rapped me.So he helped her.He came out and
saw the youngest daughter down the hall.He walked over to
her.She asked the man to help her with something.The guy said he
couldnt because her farther said he cant go near them.The girl
said,if you dont I will spread green ink all over my sheets and
say you rapped me.He said to the girl isnt it suppose to be
red.She said,when i am older because right now my cherry isnt
ripe yet
Author: admin
En M�xico, la pereza (fiaca,
En M�xico, la pereza (fiaca, flojera, ganduler�a, indolencia) es conocida como hueva, y el que la cultiva huev�n.
Reflexiones m�dicas y f�sico – matem�ticas sobre la hueva
La hueva no se crea ni se destruye solo se transmite.
La hueva es una energ�a que no se transforma en trabajo, pero el trabajo si se transforma en hueva.
La hueva es inversamente proporcional al trabajo y directamente proporcional a todo lo dem�s.
La hueva produce calor y viceversa.
La hueva siempre es absoluta, jam�s es relativa.
La hueva no tiene limite.
La hueva es asintom�tica.
La hueva es no-decreciente.
La hueva en un grupo de personas tiende al equilibrio.
La hueva es una enfermedad contagiosa y progresiva, pero nadie se ha muerto de hueva.
La hueva siempre produce m�s hueva y se reproduce exponencialmente.
La hueva nace, crece, se reproduce, pero no muere: es eterna, atemporal y adimensional.
El d�a de la semana dedicada a la hueva es el ‘hueves’.
Por cierto, ya me dio hueva.
Weird Humor
Here are some twisted jokes, try to find the meaning of them
(answers are below)
1. Why can’t an American photographer take a picture of an Asian
with a hat?
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. What’s the next letter in the series?: W T N _?
4. A boy and his father are driving home. They have to cross
some train tracks. That day the stop lights for the tracks were
broke and they didn’t know a train was coming. A train hit
them. They were rushed to the hospital where the father died.
The son had to have immediate surgery. The surgeon took one look
at the boy and said “I can’t operate on him because he’s my
son!” how can that be?
5. Before you go into the bathroom you’re American. When you’re
in the bathroom, what are you?
Answers below:
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*******
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*******
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Answers:
1. You need a camera to take a picture, not a hat!
2. Most people have only one birth day.
3. It’s WTNL (What’s The Next LETTER)
4. The surgeon was his mother.
5. European (you’re a peeing!) 🙂
Stupid lion
Man: I’m taking my wife on an African Safari.
Friend: Wow! What would you do if a vicious lion attacked your wife?
Man: Nothing.
Friend: Nothing? You would do nothing?
Man: Right! Let the stupid lion fend for himself!
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
Violin joke
Q: Which is smaller, a violin or a viola?A: They are actually the same size, but a violinist’s head is so much bigger.
The story of a very short man
A man walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots.” Bartender says, “You want them both now or one at a time?” The guy says,” Oh, I want them both now. One’s for me and one’s for this little guy here,” and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket.The bartender asks “He can drink?” “Oh, sure. He can drink.” So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up. “That’s amazing” says the bartender. “What else can he do, can he walk?” The man flicks a quarter down to the end of the bar and says, “Hey, Jake. Go get that.” The little guy runs down to the end of the bar and picks up the quarter. Then he runs back down and gives it to the man.The bartender is in total shock. “That’s amazing” he says, “what else can he do? Does he talk?” The man says “Sure he talks, hey, Jake, tell him about that time we were in Africa and you made fun of that witch doctor’s powers!”
Q: How many Pygmies
Q: How many Pygmies does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: At least three. (Notes: think height!)
Adopting a Russian baby
Morris and Becky were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby came to an end. The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy and the couple took him without hesitation. On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses. After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, “What ever possessed you to study Russian?” The couple said proudly, “We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he’ll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.”
Pick your sport carefully.
After a two year long study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on corporate America’s recreation preferences.
1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is:
Basketball.
2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is:
Bowling.
3. The sport of choice for front line workers is:
Football.
4. The sport of choice for supervisors is:
Baseball.
5. The sport of choice for middle management is:
Tennis.
6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is:
Golf.
Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become!
crazy
two crazy people were walking through a park. What path did
they take?
the phsychopath
Cheap hooker
What is the difference between a cheap hooker and an elephant?
One rolls on its back for peanuts and the other one lives in a zoo.
Put-Downs Galore!
Some good put-downs…ya’ never know when you’ll need one!
I refuse to enter a battle of the wits with you –it’s against my morals to attack an unarmed person.
Are your parents cousins?
Your teeth are so yellow, I can’t believe it’s not butter.
Nice face…what are you going to do when the baboon wants his ass back?
Oh my God, look at you! Anyone else hurt in the accident?
What other problems do you have besides being unemployed, a moron and a dork?
Who picks your clothes – Stevie Wonder?