The number of times you’ve seen either Elvis or a UFO exceeds your I.Q.Any of your neighbors has ever spent Halloween night at the bottom of a hole because you moved their outhouse back about four feet.You’ve ever lost a dog to a bush hog.
Author: admin
What aew you gonna do now?
What are you gonna do now?
Look at beard and turban, this A-rab to be jailed.
‘Cause you’re working for the Homeland.
Spying on your neighbor is what they want you to do!
When you’re working for the Homeland.
They will teach their twisted speech.
To the young believers.
They will train the blue-eyed men
To be true believers.
Judges said five to four-and no reason now to doubt them.
Keep on spying for the Homeland.
No man born with American soul
Would be questioning the Homeland.
Up against the wall, the Homeland’s come to call.
How can you refuse it?
Our fury for the tower, anger is their power.
D’you think they won’t use it?
The voices on TV are calling.
Stop wasting your time, restrictions coming.
Only a fool would think anyone cares for you.
The men at the white house are bold and cunning.
They owe you nothing, your sons, they’re draftin’.
It’s the best years of your lives they want to steal.
You grow up as they dumb you down.
You’re just praising the Homeland.
You start wearing the uniforms brown.
You’re marching for the Homeland.
They give you someone to boss around.
It makes you feel big now.
You snooze and you don’t realize.
You lost your own will now.
In these days of evil presidentes
Skimming from the Homeland.
Whose holding the bag when the bills come due?
Those working for the Homeland.
But ha! Git along!
Working for the Homeland.
But ha! Git along!
Working for the Homeland.
Working for the Homeland.
Working for the Homeland.
Working for the Homeland.
But ha! Git along!
Working for the Homeland.
Working for the Homeland.
Working for the Homeland.
Working for the Homeland.
Working for the Homeland.
Working for the Homeland.
And they give away no secrets.
Working for the Homeland.
Who’s the dummy now?
Working for the Homeland…
As they say in Beirut,
As they say in Beirut, Shiite happens.
Silly Washington riddle
Q. Why was Washington buried standing up? A. He never lied!
A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE
A SHORT HISTORY OF MEDICINE:
“Doctor, I have an ear ache.”
2000 B.C. – “Here, eat this root.”
1000 B.C. – “That root is heathen, say this prayer.”
1850 A.D. – “That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.”
1940 A.D. – “That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.”
1985 A.D. – “That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.”
2000 A.D. – “That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!”
Sexist Pig Joke
Why do women have legs?
So they can get from the bedroom to the kitchen!
The ideal resume will turn
The ideal resume will turn up one day after the position is filled.
Smart little johnny
One day the teacher walks into her classroom and announces to the class that on each Friday she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn’t have to go to school the following Monday.
On the first Friday the teacher asks: “How many grains of sand are on the beach?” needless to say, no one could answer.
The following Friday, the teacher asks the class: “How many stars are in the sky?” and again no one could answer. Frustrated little Johnny decides that the next Friday he would somehow answer the question and get a 3 day weekend.
So Thursday night Johnny takes 2 ping pong balls and paints them black. The next day he brings them to school in a paper bag. At the end of the day just when the teacher says, “here’s this week’s question,” Johnny empties the bag to the floor sending the ping pong balls rolling to the front of the room. Because they are young kids who find any disruption of class amusing, the entire class starts laughing.
The teacher says, “ok, who’s the comedian with the black balls?”
Immediately, little Johnny stands up and says, “Bill Cosby, see ya on Tuesday!”
Guy Walks into a Bar…
A guy walks into a bar and sits down. He starts dialing numbers… like a telephone… on his hand and talking into his hand. The bartender walks over and tells him this is a very tough neighborhood and he doesn’t need any trouble here.
The guy says, “You don’t understand. I’m very hi-tech. I had a phone installed in my hand because I was tired of carrying the cellular.”
The bartender says “Prove it.”
The guy dials up a number and hands his hand to the bartender. The bartender talks into the hand and carries on a conversation. “That’s incredible”, says the bartender… “I would never have believed it!”
“Yeah”, said the guy, “I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, you name it. By the way, where is the men’s room?” The bartender directs him to the men’s room. The guy goes in and 5, 10, 20 minutes go by and he doesn’t return.
Fearing the worst given the neighborhood, the bartender goes into the men’s room. There is the guy spread-eagle on the wall. His pants are pulled down and he has a roll of toilet paper up his butt.
“Oh my god!” said the bartender. “Did they rob you? Are you hurt?”
The guy turns and says: “No, I’m ok. I’m just waiting for a fax.”
Ethnic Fishing
Four friends went on a fishing trip. After not catching anything that day the men resorted to boasting. The Russian took out a bottle of the finest vodka and poured it into the water boasting, “In Russia vodka
is so plentiful, we can throw it away”.
The Swiss man not wanting to be outdone immediately took of his Rolex and threw it into the water
boasting, “In Switzerland, watches are so cheap we can throw them away.”
The American thought for a while before tossing the Mexican in the water.
Sadest thing in the world
whats the sadest thing in the world?
two boldy men fighting over a comb.
Yo Momma so fat when she stood on the……
Yo Mamma is so fat when she stood on the middle of the st.louis arch it made a mcdonalds sign !!!! ha ha ha
(answer is down)
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because she is so fat when she stood in the middle of it it went down , so that made it make a mcdonalds sign!!!! get it ?