Author: admin

Franklin

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A teenage boy was baby-sitting a little girl. He needed to go to
the washroom. Suddenly the little girl walked in. The little
girl goes “What’s that?” pointing to his penis!Theboy says
“That’s my Franklin but don’t play with it!”. The little girl
says “I’ll tell my mommy and daddy!” so the boy says fine. When
the mom and dad get home they see the baby-sitter running out of
the house holding his penis.The parents ask what happened. He
replied ” I’m never baby-sitting your daughter again”! So the
parents walk inside and ask their daughter what happened. She
said ” Well i was playing with Franklin when he sprayed water on
me so i bit him”!!!!!!

Beeping Sound at Red Light

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This actually happened!

I live in Edinbourgh, Scotland. I’m on a tour bus showing a
friend around. Behind us is this huge Texan. We knew knew this
because he told everyone very loudly when anyone got on the bus.

The bus stops at a red light and he hears a beeping sound. He
asks what it is and I tell him it’s the sound to let blind
people know when the traffic has stopped. He says, “Oh! In our
country we just don’t let our blind drive!”

Viruses you might catch

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THE CLINTON Virus…(Gives you a 7-Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.)

THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus…(Makes a new hard drive out of an old
floppy)

THE LEWINSKY virus…(Sucks all the memory out of your computer,
then emails your best friends about what it did).

THE RONALD REAGAN virus…(Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored)

THE MIKE TYSON virus…(Quits after two bytes)

THE OPRAH WINFREY virus… (Your 300 mb hard drive shrinks to 100 mb, then
slowly expands to restabilize around 200.)

THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus…(Deletes all old files)

THE PROZAC virus…(Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn’t
care)

THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus…(Only attacks minor files)

THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus…(Terminates some files, leaves, but will be
back) and last but not least……………

THE LORENA BOBBITT virus… (Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy,
then discards it through Windows)

Dirty Slot Machine

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One night, a group of gay men were playing truth or dare. One man is dared to walk down to the mini market naked and buy condoms and candy. The man goes to the store and buys the condom and candy, barely able to stop thinking about how he will use the condoms when he got back to the house, but on the way back he sees three nuns approaching. The man jumped into a bush, but he fails to conceal his erection. One of the nuns sees his penis, and says. “oh, look! a slot machine. ill go first”. so the nun yanks down on the mans penis and waits to see if she one. The man is pushed against a prickly bush, and drops the condom. “oh, look! i got a bendable thimble! now i won’t poke myself when i sew.” “oh, i wonder what i will get?” she pulls on the “handle”, and out falls the candy. The third nun yanks on the handle, hoping for something good, and shouts out: “i got hand lotion!”

Johnny’s violin

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Little Johnny was practicing the violin in the living room while his father was trying to read in the den.

The family dog was lying in the den, and as the screeching sounds of little Johnny’s violin reached his ears, he began to howl loudly.

The father listened to the dog and the violin as long as he could.

Then he jumped up, slammed his paper to the floor and yelled above the noise, “For Pete’s sake, can’t you play something the dog doesn’t know?!”