In September, according to police in Junction City, Kan., David Bell, 30,
just released from jail for car theft, walked out the door and stole
another car to get home.
Author: admin
Baaaaad Breath
Yo’ breath so stank, it’s like your tongue farted!
Alegre: se r�e de estupideces.
Alegre: se r�e de estupideces.
Alfab�tico: es est�pido con todas las letras.
Ambicioso: sue�a alg�n d�a llegar a ser muy est�pido.
Amigable: todos sus amigos tambi�n son est�pidos.
A�ejo: con el tiempo se vuelve m�s est�pido.
Aplastado: estupidazo.
Aplicado: se aplica a ser cada vez m�s est�pido.
Asalariado: le pagan para que haga estupideces.
Benvenutto: es un est�pido familiar.
Bot�nico: es una flor de est�pido.
Campana: es TAN, TAN, TAN est�pido.
Campe�n: nadie le gana a la hora de hacer estupideces.
Cat�lico: es un reverendo est�pido.
Ciego: todos ven sus estupideces, menos �l.
Conocido: es el mismo est�pido de siempre.
Consciente: sabe que es un est�pido.
Convicto: lo condenaron por est�pido.
Creyente: cree todas las estupideces que escucha.
Cheto: siempre est� a la �ltima (est�pida) moda.
Cholulo: se sabe todas las estupideces de la actualidad.
De referencia: el que se usa para explicar d�nde queda algo: ‘All�, donde est� parado aquel est�pido’.
Demagogo: cree que el pueblo es est�pido.
Desconocido: aquel cuyo nombre no puede uno recordar: ‘�C�mo se llamaba ese est�pido?’
Desinteresado: dice estupideces sin esperar nada a cambio.
Diab�lico: es un est�pido infernal.
Disfrazado: es m�s est�pido de lo que aparenta.
Ecol�gico: es est�pido por naturaleza.
Enamoradizo: le gusta cualquier est�pida.
Enano: es medio est�pido.
Enciclop�dico: sabe un mont�n de estupideces.
Esf�rico: est�pido por cualquier lado que se lo mire.
Esperanzado: cree que lo que tiene de est�pido se le va a quitar.
Estufa: se calienta por cualquier estupidez.
Expiatorio: es tan est�pido que a veces resulta �til.
Fil�sofo: se pregunta el por qu� de sus estupideces.
Fosforescente: hasta en la oscuridad se nota lo est�pido que es.
Frankestein: es tan est�pido que asusta.
Hiperactivo: hace una estupidez tras otra.
Honesto: no se hace el est�pido, ES est�pido.
Ignorante: todos saben que es est�pido, menos �l.
Imponente: se destaca y asombra su estupidez.
Impredecible: no se sabe con qu� estupidez te va a salir.
Inasistente: el est�pido que faltaba.
Incapaz: hasta las estupideces le salen mal.
Incubadora: es est�pido de nacimiento.
In�dito: ni �l sabe que es est�pido.
Insatisfecho: no le alcanza el d�a para ser est�pido.
Insistente: comete la misma estupidez varias veces.
Internacional: es un est�pido sin fronteras.
Introvertido: no le cuenta a nadie sus estupideces.
Irresponsable: no le importa ser est�pido.
Jerogl�fico: es tan est�pido que nadie lo entiende.
Laborioso: se pasa todo el d�a haciendo estupideces.
L�tex: adem�s de est�pido, es un forro.
L�der: es tan est�pido que los dem�s lo siguen.
L�quido: lo toman por est�pido.
Literario: escribe un mont�n de estupideces.
Lungo: es altamente est�pido.
Monotem�tico: hace siempre la misma estupidez.
Musical: es el est�pido que siempre da la nota.
Obelisco: es el monumento al est�pido.
Ocioso: tiene tiempo de leer esta sarta de estupideces.
Ocupado: no es m�s est�pido porque no tiene tiempo.
Optimista: cree que no es est�pido.
Pesimista: cree que es el �nico est�pido.
Petulante: se enorgullece de sus estupideces.
Plano: es lisa y llanamente est�pido.
Polifac�tico: abarca varias clases de est�pido.
Precavido: es est�pido… por las dudas.
Precoz: desde chiquito ya era est�pido.
Preparado: tiene una estupidez para cada ocasi�n.
Profesional: es tan est�pido que parece que hizo alg�n curso.
Radiactivo: irradia estupideces por doquier.
Resistente: no se cansa de hacer estupideces.
Sangre azul: hijo y nieto de est�pidos.
Simp�tico: sus estupideces causan risa.
Sincero: es est�pido y tiene cara de est�pido.
Son�mbulo: hasta dormido hace estupideces.
Tartamudo: es re, re, re, re-est�pido.
Telesc�pico: desde lejos se nota lo est�pido que es.
Tijera: corta cualquier conversaci�n con sus estupideces.
Tradicional: es est�pido por costumbre.
Ut�pico: es demasiado est�pido como para ser cierto.
Valiente: es capaz de dar la vida por estupideces.
Xerox: copia las estupideces de los dem�s.
Santa Claws
Who wears red and white and roars like a lion?
Santa Claws.
The Brass Rat
A man walked into a curio store and was looking around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter.
The proprietor said, that will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it.
The man said, ‘Thanks, but I’ll just pay the $10 and pass on the story.’
He purchased the brass rat and left the store.
As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked — the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, which he did — and all the rats drowned.
He returned to the store where he purchased the brass rat, and when he walked in, the proprietor said, ‘Ah ha! You came back to pay the $1,000 for the story, right?’
‘Nope,’ replied the man, ‘Just came back to see if you have any brass lawyers!’
“Why’d the chicken cross the road?”
MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the Chicken, “Thou shalt cross the road!” And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
AGENT MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn’t anyone ever think to ask, “What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?”
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is not, “Why did the chicken cross the road?” Rather, it is, “Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?”
DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to cross roads.
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken ‘crossed’ the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this questions denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road; it transcended it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
Abraham Lincoln
Father:
“Son, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he walked 12 miles to school.”
Son:
“Dad, when Abraham Lincoln was your age, he was President.”
What do they know about sex
whatdo women think about sex:
at age 10 think about it
at age 20 do it
at age 30 get babys from it
at age 60 egnore it
at age 90 forget about it
Pepito encuentra sus pap�s haciendo
Pepito encuentra sus pap�s haciendo el amor.
“�Qu� est�n haciendo?”, pregunta intrigado el peque�o.
“Estamos jugando 40”, responden.
Va al cuarto de la hermana y la encuentra con su novio.
“�Qu� est�n haciendo?”
“Jugando 21”, le responde la hermana.
Despu�s, Pepito se va a su cuarto y cuando se estaba masturbando entran todos.
“�Qu� est�s haciendo, Pepito?”, le preguntan a coro.
“Aqu�, jugando solitario”.
Men Are Like Popcorn
Why are men like popcorn?
They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
An economist’s speech
The following is supposedly a true story.
An economist was about to give a presentation in Washington, DC on the
problems with Black-Scholes model of option pricing and was expecting no more
than a dozen of government officials attending.
To his amazement, when he arrived, the room was packed with edgy,
tough-looking guys in shades. Still, after five or so minutes into the
presentation all of them stood up and left without a word.
The economist found out only later that his secretary ran the presentation
through a spell-checker and what was “The Problem with Black-Scholes” became
“The Problem with Black Schools”.
Old women
What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn’t? A navel.