Author: admin

how do you confuse a female archeologist?

give her a tampon and ask her what period its from!

Life is a cabaret, but some days you’re given the seat behind the post!

One day a little red man was taking a little red shower in his little red house.

He looked out the window and saw the milk van drive past without leaving any milk.

So the little red man turned off the shower and put a towel around himself.

He than began to run after the van.

After a while he came to a T intersection, where he couldn’t find the van.

All of a sudden a dog came past and stole his towel.

An old lady saw this little red man standing naked in the middle of the road.

So she left the house and when she was walking on the road a car hit her and killed her.

The moral of this story is: Don’t cross the road when the little red man is flashing!

The Pope goes to visit the Seven Dwarfs. As he is finishing his speech on
comparative religions, Dopey raises his hand to ask a question.

‘Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?’

‘No, Dopey,’ responds the Pontiff, ‘there are not.’

‘Mr. Pope, are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in Italy?’ Dopey questions.

‘No, Dopey,’ the Pope chuckles, ‘there are no dwarf nuns in Italy.’

‘Mr. Pope,’ Dopey asks pleadingly, ‘are there any dwarf nuns anywhere in the
world?’

‘No, Dopey,’ the Pope says sadly, ‘there are no dwarf nuns anywhere
in the world.’

And softly in the background, the six remaining dwarfs start chanting, ‘Dopey
f***ed a penguin, Dopey f***ed a penguin.’

Why did Hitler commit suicide?

– He got his gas bill

why did the chicken cross the basketball court? he heard the ref. was blowing fowls.

One night, a father passed by his son’s room and heard his son praying: “God bless Mommy, Daddy, and Grandma. Ta ta, Grandpa.” The father didn’t quite know what this meant, but was glad his son was praying. The next morning, they found Grandpa dead on the floor of a heart attack. The father reassured himself that it was just a coincidence, but was still a bit spooked. The next night, he heard his son praying again: “God bless Mommy and Daddy. Ta ta, Grandma.” The father was worried, but decided to wait until morning. Sure enough, the next morning Grandma was on the floor, dead of a heart attack. Really scared now, the father decided to wait outside his son’s door the next night. And sure enough, the boy started to pray: “God bless Mommy. Ta ta, Daddy.” Now the father was crapping his pants. He stayed up all night, and went to the doctor’s early the next day to make sure his health was fine. When he finally came home, his wife was waiting on the porch. She said, “Thank God you’re here — we could really use your help! We found the milkman dead on our porch this morning!”