Author: admin

En un cine en el que se iba a presentar un estreno se form� desde temprano una larga cola. Entonces, una viejecita se acerc� a la taquilla y la multitud empez� a gritar:

“�A la cola! �A la cola!”

La anciana se detuvo un momento y la multitud call�, pero al volver a avanzar, la gente empez� a gritar a coro:

“�No se cuele! �A la cola!”

Y as� sucedi� muchas veces hasta que la viejecita, enojada, se alej� refunfu�ando:

“�A ver ahora qui�n les vende los boletos!”

A little girl heard her parents fighting. She heard them say the words bitch and asshole. She asked her dad what they meant and he said ladies and gentlemen. She heard her parents fighting again and heard the words dick and pussy. She asked her mom what they meant and her mom said hats and coats.

It was thanksgiving and her dad was upstairs shaving and he cut himself and said shit. The little girl asked what it meant and he said shaving. Her mom was downstairs carving the turkey and cut herself and said fuck. She asked what it meant and her mom said carving the turkey.

The doorbell rang and the little girl answered it. It was her grandparents and other relatives. She said, “Welcome bitches and assholes. Put your dicks and pussy�s in the closet, Daddy is upstairs shitting and mommy is in the kitchen fucking the turkey.”

An old man goes into the confessional and says to the priest, “Father, I’m 80
years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an
affair with two 18 year old girls. I made love with both of them twice.”
The priest said: “Well, my son, when was the last time you were in
confession?”

“Never Father, I’m Jewish.”

“So then, why are you telling me?”

“I’m telling everybody.”

A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a
secret from her Grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a
group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed
to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in
the neighborhood, but little old Grandma? The young girl became frantic. Sure
enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously,” What are
you lining up for dear?” Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the
young girl said that some people were giving out free oranges and that she was
lining up for some. “Mmmm, sounds lovely,” said Grandma, “I think I’ll have some
myself,” she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police
officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he
got to Grandma at the end of the line, he was bewildered. “But, you’re so old,
how do you do it?” Grandma replied,” Oh, its quite easy sonny, I just remove my
dentures, and suck ’em dry”.

An Iraqi was walking on the beach when he was approached by a man. “Say Buddy,” said the man, “How”d you like to take a cruise for $100?””Sure!” exclaimed the Iraqi. When he gave the man his money, the guy pulled out a black jack and hit him over the head. He pulled him down to the shore, put him in an inner tube and then shoved him off.The next day, another Iraqi was walking on the beach, and was approached by the same man, in the same manner. Sure enough, when the second Albanian gave him his money, out came the black jack, and the second Albanian was on his way out to sea.Several days had passed, and the two Iraqi’s eventually ran into one another. “Hey Buddy,” the second asked the first, “do they serve drinks on this cruise?””They probably won’t.” said the first, “They didn’t last year.”

Q: What is long, hard, and full of seamen?
A: A submarine!

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them. Then something fell out of the Bible and he picked up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree. The leaf had been pressed in between pages.

“Momma, look what I found”, the boy called out.

“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.

With astonishment in the young boy’s voice he answered: “It’s Adam’s suit!!!!!”