Author: admin

Tres mujeres mueren y llegan a las puertas del cielo donde las recibe San Pedro. San Pedro se dirige a la primera de las mujeres:

“A ver hija, �ning�n pecado en tu vida?” “No, San Pedrito.” “�Nunca le fuiste infiel a tu marido?” “No, nunca.” “�Ni con el pensamiento?” “Nunca, ni con el pensamiento.” “Bueno, entonces toma: las llaves del cielo.” “Gracias San Pedrito, gracias.”

San Pedro se dirige ahora a la segunda mujer:

“Y tu, hija m�a, �le fuiste infiel alguna vez a tu marido?.” “No, nunca.” “�Ni con el pensamiento?.” “Ehhhh, s�, una vez.” “Entonces toma, la llave del purgatorio. La que sigue.”

Entra la tercer mujer. Un cuerpazo, toda pintada, jeans super ajustados y un escote ampl�simo:

“Ehhh… Este… ehhh… mmm, dime, hija m�a, �y t�?” “Mira San Pedrito, la verdad es que yo s� me met� con todos los que pude: con el panadero, el lechero, el jardinero, el polic�a de la esquina, el sobrino de mi esposo, el cu�ado, el jefe, 3 de sus amigos…”

San Pedro la interrumpe: “Ya hija, suficiente, toma, la llave de mi cuarto.”

THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female: Any part under a car’s hood.
Male: The strap fastener on a woman’s bra.

VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female: Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
Male: Playing football without a helmet.

COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female: The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
Male: Scratching out a note before suddenly taking off for a weekend with the boys.

BUTT (but) n
Female: The body part that every item of clothing manufactured makes “look bigger.”
Male: What you slap when someone’s scored a touchdown, homerun, or goal. Also good for mooning.

COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female: A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male: Not trying to pick up other women while out with one’s girlfriend.

ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female: A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male: Anything that can be done while drinking.

FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female: An embarrassing by-product of digestion.
Male: An endless source of entertainment, self-expression and male bonding.

MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female: The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male: Call it whatever you want just as long as we end up in bed.

REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female: A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male: A device for scanning through all 75 channels every 2 & 1/2 min.

Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis

An Irish priest and a Rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a
train. After a while, the priest opened a conversation by saying “I know that,
in your religion, you’re not supposed to eat pork…Have you actually ever
tasted it?

The Rabbi said, “I must tell the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion.”

Then the Rabbi had his turn of interrogation. He asked, “Your religion,
too…I know you’re suposed to be celibate. But….”

The priest replied, “Yes, I know what you’re going to ask. I have succumbed
once or twice.”

There was silence for a while. Then the Rabbi peeped around the newspaper he
was reading and said, “Better than pork, isn’t it?”