Yo Mommas like a vacum cleaner she suck she blows and she get laid in the closet.
Author: admin
Yo mama’s So Stupid
Yo’ mama so stupid, she heard it was chilly out, and got a spoon!
A canadian in a Texas bar…
A Canadian is on vacation and walks into a bar.
He sits on this HUGE stool and says to the bartender’ man, I heard things are big down here in Texas, but this is ridiculas!’ and orders a mug of beer.
He gets a pitcher of beer and asks the bartender, ‘man, I heard that things are big down here in Texasm but this is ridiculas!’ and goes about drinking his beer. He orders another and he gets really pissed drunk.
Well, not too long later, he has to go to the bathroom really, really bad so he asks the bartender, ‘Where is your washroom???’ The bartender says, down the hall, second door on the right.’
So the man climbs off the stool and stumbles down the hall and enters the second door to the left and falls in this huge swimming pool.
The man is struggling to stay afloat and screams ‘DON’T FLUSH IT!!!
Blondes breaking their arms
How did the blonde break her arm raking leaves??
She fell out of her tree.
Hellen Keller
how did hellen keller brake her arm ? : she tried to read a stop sign going 50mph
Knock Knock… Sham
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Sham.
Sham who?
I didn’t know we were talking about yo mama.
Frenchman and Farm Animals
What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the
other?
A bisexual!
We Need a New Pilot
Taxi-ing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour long wait, it finally took off.A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?””The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” he explained. ….”It took us a while to find a new pilot.”
The first words out of
The first words out of your mouth every time you see friends are “Howdy!”, “HEY!” or “How Y’all Doin’?” (If they respond with the same… they’re a redneck too!)You have more than two brothers named Bubba or Junior.You’ve ever stolen toilet paper from a public restroom.
The Pearly Gates
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter.
To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the laywer was, and greeted him warmly.
Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?”
St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be at least 193 years old!”
Tu mujer te enga�a Manolo
Tu mujer te enga�a
Manolo se encontraba en la tienda de abarrotes y llega Venancio corriendo y le avisa agitado:
“�Manolo, tu mujer te est� enga�ando ahora!”
�ste sale corriendo, se sube a la bicicleta y se estrella en un poste. Se levanta y maldice:
“�Joder, que yo no soy… ni tengo esposa y no s� andar en bicicleta!”
Bill Gates’ Marriage
Q: What did Bill Gates’ wife say to him on their wedding night?
A: “Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!”