Yours Fun Portal !
A black man is dying of thirst in the desert when he finds a gennie in a bottle.
The gennie grants him three wishes.
He says “First I want a lot of water, Second I want to be white,
and third I want a lot of pretty naked women to sit on me”
When he came to he was a toliet at the Waldorf Astoria.
Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.
I wont talk about your momma, I’ll talk about your daddy.
Your daddy is so fat that when his teacher said he sits beside
everybody, HE SITS BESIDE EVERYBODY!
But hes still not as fat as your momma!
When your momma sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating.
She says, ‘What the hell do you guys think you’re doing?’
One of the Japanese men says, ‘We are all berry hungry.’
The waitress says, ‘So how is whacking off in this restaurant going to help that situation?’
Another businessman replies,
‘Because menu say, first come first served.’
This group of guys goes hunting every year, they stay in a cabin. they always put Fred in a room by himself because he snores so loud. one year there is a new guy with the group, but the only room they have for the new guy to sleep is in the room with Fred. the next morning Fred comes out of his room, eyes bloodshot, irritable, clearly a lack of sleep. the new guy comes out looking like he’s had the best rest in his whole life. now the group of guys are confused! this has never happened before, it’s usually the other way around! this continues night after night. finnaly one of the guys works up the nerve, and asks Fred whats going on? “well” he said. “I am asleep for a little while, when suddenly I wake up to the new guy blowing in my ear and patting me on the ass. then he goes and lays down and starts sleeping. there is no way I can sleep the rest of the night in the same room with that guy.”
Two goober hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car. Another hunter approached pulling his along too.
“Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground.”
After the third hunter left, the two goobers decided to try it.
A little while later one said to the other, “You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!”
“Yeah,” the other added, “but we’re getting farther away from the truck….”
How is a woman like an airplane?
-Both have cockpits.
A girl who was in the eighth grade said to her parents, “Today we had a
physician in our class. We all undressed and he conducted a check-up.”
“And?”
“You know, they found only one virgin in the entire class.”
“Good girl.”
“Mom, but this was our teacher.”
One evening, Frank was drinking at a bar when the bartender came over to tell
Frank that he had a telephone call.
Frank had just bought another beer and he didn’t want anyone else to drink it.
So, Fred wrote a little sign and left it by his beer that read: “I spit in my
beer.”
When Fred returned to his bar stool, there was another note beside his
beer: “I spit in your beer, too!”
After hearing that one of the patients in the mental hosptal had
just saved another from a suicide attempt by pulling him out of
the bathtub. Dr. Brown, the director of the hospital, reviewed
the rescuer’s file and called him into his office. “Mr. James,
your records and your heroic behavior indicate that you are
ready to go home. I’m only sorry that the man you saved later
killed himself with a rope around the neck.” “Oh, he didn’t kill
himself,” Mr. James replied, “I hung him up to dry.”
Your moma is so fat, she bungie jumped and went straight to hell.