It’s still the economy.And he’s still stupid.
Author: admin
Yo momma
yo mamma is so fat she has more crack than harlem
Q: How many Democratic
Q: How many Democratic presidential candidates from 1988 did it take to screw in a lightbulb ?A: (Al Gore) As usual, the other left-wing wacko candidates are putting forth solutions that moderate Southerners won’t cotton to on Super Tuesday. At least I hope not.
Milk time
what do you get when theres a cow with a lot of milk and is up in space
a milky way
Check out my joke page!…
Check out my joke page!
You think mud rasslin’ should
You think mud rasslin’ should be an Olympic sport.The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business.You list your parole officer as a reference.
Landing in Toronto
The jumbo jet is just coming into an Airport in Toronto on its final approach. The pilot comes on over the intercom.”This is Capt Johnson. We’re on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today, and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto. He forgets to switch off the intercom. The whole plane can now hear the conversation from the cockpit. The co-pilot says to the pilot, “Well skipper, watcha gonna do in Toronto? Now all ears in the plane are listening in to this conversation.”Well,” says the skipper, “first I’m gonna check into the hotel and take a crap. Then I’m gonna take that new stewardess out for supper, you know, the one with the huge tits. I’m gonna wine and dine her , take her back to my room, and shag her all night.” Everyone in the plane is trying to get a look at the new stewardess. She’s so embarrassed that she runs from the back of the plane to try and get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off. Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady’s bag and down she goes. The old lady leans over and says, “No need to run, dear, he’s gotta take a shit first!”
Beware the man of one
Beware the man of one book. – St. Thomas Aquinas
Estaban en un coche una
Estaban en un coche una vieja, una chica que estaba muy bien, un argentino y un brasile�o. El coche entr� en un t�nel muy obscuro. Se escuch� un beso y en seguida el sonido de una cachetada.
La vieja penso: “Qu� car�cter el de esta chica. Uno de los dos muchachos la bes�, y ella le di� una cachetada.”
La chica pens�: “Uno de los muchachos intent� besarme, acab� besando a la vieja y le di� una cachetada.”
El argentino pens�: “�Qu� azar! El brasile�o di� un beso a la chica y quien se llevo la
cachetada fui yo.”
El brasile�o: “�C�mo soy despierto! �Di un beso en la espalda de mi mano y di una cachetada al argentino!”
(Zdena)
12 pack
A father and his son go into the grocery store when they happen upon the condom aisle.
The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.
The father replies, ”Well, you see that 3-pack? That’s for when you’re in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night.”
The son then asks his father, ”What’s the 6-pack for?”
The father replies, ”Well, that’s for when you’re in college. You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning.”
Then the son asks his father what the 12-pack is for.
The father replies, ”Well, that’s for when you’re married. You have one for January, one for February, one for March, one for…..”
Submitted by Curtis
Give Me A ….
A brunette walks into a bar and says, “Gimme an ML�. The bartender says, “
What’s an ML?” She says, ” A Miller Light�.
Another Brunette walks in and says, “Gimme a BL�. The bartender says, “What’s
a BL?” She says, “Bud Light�.
A dumb blonde walks in and says, “Gimme a 15�. The bar tender says,” What’s a
fifteen?” She says�, 7,&7, duh!”
The Top 15 Pet Peeves of Newborns
15> Everybody gets a stogie but you.
14> You suspect Mom has been breastfeeding Dad behind your back, but you can’t prove it.
13> Bouncing, bouncing, always with the bouncing!
12> “Hey, *you’re* the one eating the garlic salami, don’t you dare complain about how *I* smell!”
11> Two boobs, but only one mouth.
10> No more “new womb” smell.
9> Milk, milk, milk, milk, milk! You can’t throw one lousy ribeye in a blender?
8> Mohels with a bad case of the shakes.
7> Mommy’s implants, while apparently essential to Daddy’s happiness, are seriously impeding your breakfast.
6> Hanging out at hotels is scary. (Michael Jackson’s newborns only)
5> My body, *MY* foreskin!
4> “The bough breaks and… they fall down? THEY ALL FALL DOWN?!? No wonder I can’t sleep!”
3> You’re still *months* from figuring out how to grab your private bits.
2> Losing that cool swept-back alien skull look after the first week.
1> Every time you finally get your diaper just the way you want it, some idiot comes along and changes it.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]