Slick Willie
Chunky Monkey
Double Nut Joy
Subpoenas ‘n’ Cream
Impeach-Mint
Candy Pants
Chocolate Chip Doughboy
Chilly Hillbilly
Vanilla Pantsachio
Subpoena Colada
Biscuits ‘n’ Gravy
Horny Bubba Crunch
Arkansas Peach
Subpoena Butter Cup
Peppermint Fattie
Captain Cream
Fat Ass
Tubby Bubba
Hillary Chiller
Fundraising Coffee
Oval Office Surprise
Arkansas Smoothie
Hyperactive Nuts
Scandal berry
Draft-Dodging Pot-Smoking Intern-Nailing Raspberry Swirl
Author: admin
The E-mail Man
A blonde and her sister were at the blondes house. Her sister said, “I here you are having a party. Why didnt you invite me?”
“I did” said the blonde. She walks over to the computer and picks up her sisters invite and says aw man the email man didnt come.
What and who am I?
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind. The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was. The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, “You’ve got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!” The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake’s body for a few minutes, he asserted, “Well, you’re scaly, you’re slimy, you’ve got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you’ve got a forked tongue. I think you’re a lawyer!”
A neutron walks into a bar
A neutron walks into a bar. “I’d like a beer,” he says.
The bartender promptly serves up a beer.
� How much will that be?” asks the neutron.
� For you?” replies the bartender, “no charge
Blueberry Hill
Little Johnny walked into his class and the teacher asked where he had been. he replied, “On blueberry hill.”
The teacher, still confused, said, “Ok… have a seat.” Another boy walked in and the teacher asked, “Where have you been.” he replied, “On blueberry hill.”
The teacher grumbled a bit and continued class. Enevtually, a girl walked in and the teacher said, “Let me guess… You were on blueberry hill.”
The girl replied “No, but how did you know my name was Blueberry Hill?”
The trouble with doing right
The trouble with doing right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was!
Resumania II
“I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computer and spreasheet progroms.”
“Am a perfectionist and rarely if ever forget details.”
“Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.”
“Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.”
“Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.”
“Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.”
“It’s best for employers that I not work with people.”
“Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.”
“I was working for my mom until she decided to move.”
“Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.”
“I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.”
“I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my
resume on my office voice mail.”
“My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in
meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.”
“I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.”
“Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.”
“Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store.”
“Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit
a job.”
“Marital status: often. Children: various.”
“The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.”
“Finished eighth in my class of ten.”
“References: none. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.”
He didn’t flush.
How do you tell if you have passed an elephant?
He didn’t flush.
The blonde joke
Q what do u get when u put dumb and blonde togather.
A a dumb blonde
Castaway: "Final Thoughts"
“Have been here 1,500 days, heard Bush stole election- have
decided to stay.”
Bingo
How do you get a 96 year old lady to say fuck?
Get another one to scream bingo.
What has a lot of balls and fucks old ladies?
A bingo machine.
My God Your Ugly
Little Johnny said to his aunt Tess, “My God, you’re ugly, aren’t you!”
His mother overheard this and pulled Johnny into the kitchen. “You naughty boy!” she screamed, “How can you say to your aunt that she’s ugly! You go right in and apologize to her! Tell her you’re sorry!”
Little Johnny entered the living room, walked over to his aunt and said, “Aunt Tess, I am sorry you’re so ugly.”