You’re a redneck if…. You have a color coordinating rope that ties down your
car hood.
Author: admin
Murphy’s Technology Laws…
- Murphy’s Technology Laws
- If it’s not in the computer, it doesn’t exist.
Microsoft Engineer
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion. “Why don’t we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it’ll work!?”
You know you’re living in a small town…..
* when you don’t use turn signals because everybody knows where you’re going.
* neighbors’ kids play in your yard more than your own kids do.
* if you’re born on June 13 and your family receives gifts from the local
merchants because you’re the first baby of the year.
* there is no local news section in the newspaper.
* if you speak to each dog you pass, by name ….. and he wags his tail at you
* if you dial the wrong number, and talk for 15 minutes anyway.
* you can’t walk for exercise because everyone offers you a ride.
* when the biggest business in town sells farm machinery.
* if you write a check on the wrong bank and it covers you anyway.
* if you missed church on Sunday and the preacher sends you a get-well card!
Lab coat
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better
to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation
for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and
mystery he found there.
The engineer said, “I like both.”
“Both?”
Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you
are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some
work done.
Cowgirls
why are cowgirls bowlegged?
because cowboys like to eat with there hats on.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
How do you circumcise a redneck?
KICK HIS SISTER IN THE CHIN
How funny
A girl walks into a hair salon and she is eating a muffin and the man next to her says hunny your going to get hair on your muffin and the girl says so I’m going to get big boobies some day so what
Husband Is Out to Golf
One Day Albert wanted to go golfing. Albert got out of bed early
trying not to wake his wife. He got dressed and sneaked out of
the house. He got to the golf course and wanted a cup of coffee
before hitting the course. So he went into the club house for a
cup of coffee.
Once finished he started out the door and he noticed it was too
foggy to golf. So he got back into his truck, real upset, but
headed back home.
Albert was real slow on sneaking back in, took off his clothes
and went back in bed snuggling back to his wife carefully and
saying it’s terrible weather out there. The wife said, “Ya, and
to think my stupid husband went golfing in it!”
What do you say to a sorority girl that won’t
What do you say to a sorority girl that won’t give in?
“Have another beer.”
How do we know that the “Toothbrush” was invented…
How do we know that the “Toothbrush” was invented in West Virginia?
– Had it been invented anywhere else it would have been called a “Teethbrush”.
I Have to Whisper
A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the
little boy said, “Mommy, I have to pee.”
The mother said to the little boy, “It’s not appropriate to say
the word ‘pee’ in church. So, from now on whenever you have to
‘pee’ just tell me that you have to ‘whisper.'”
The following Sunday, the little boy went to church with his
father and during the service said to his father, “Daddy, I have
to whisper.”
The father looked at him and said, “Okay, why don’t you whisper
in my ear.”