Author: admin

One day a blind man came into a restaruant. A waiter came to him and asked “Would you like a menu, sir?”.

The man said “No thanks but if you bring me a dirty fork I’ll tell you what I want.”

So the waiter brings him a dirty fork and the blind man sniffs it. Then he said “bring me the meatloaf and mashed potatos”. So the waiter brings him meatloaf and mashed potatos.

The next day the same blind guy comes in. The waiter doesn’t recognize him and asks if he would like a menu. The blind man says, “No but if you bring me a dirty fork I’ll tell you what I want.”

So the waiter brings him a dirty fork. The man sniffs it and says “I’d like the lasagna with extra cheese please”. So the waiter brings him the lasagna.

The next day the blind man comes in and the waiter recognizes him. The waiter says “Let me guess you want a dirty fork, right?”and the blind man says “Yes I would.”.

The waiter gets a clean fork and rubs it on a waitresses privates. The waiter brings it to the blind man and he sniffs it.

Then the blind man says, “Hey!! I didn’t know Mary worked here!!”

This man was at a Bible Sales Conference when he got awarded the
top salesman. This was the tenth year in a roll that he had won
this award. So when he went up to accept it the head man ask him
how he had sold so many Bibles. He step up to the microphone and
said this, “WeWell I I Ffffirfirst ggo up to to the dodoor, and
I knnnockk on the the door, and I say say Hellllllo my my name
is chchuck and I I I am ssselling BBbibiles wowould you you
lilike to bubuyone. And thethey say NnnNo. And I I sssay that
that is fifine thenthen I I I’ll jujust rereread it to you. In
ththe bebegining . . . and then they buy one!

A construction worker on the 3rd floor of a building needs a
handsaw so he sees another man on the 1st floor.

He yells down to him, but he can’t hear, so he does sign language. The man on the 3rd floor does sign language.

He points at his eye meaning “I”, points at his knee meaning “need”, and moves his hand back and forth in a handsaw motion.

The man on the 1st floor knods his head, pulls down his pants, and starts masturbating. The man on the 3rd floor gets so angry he runs down to the 1st floor and says,” What the fuck is wrong with you dumbass? I said I need handsaw!!”

The other guy says,” I knew that, I was just trying to tell you I’m
coming.”

15. dictum

14. joystick

13. Volvo

12. bungalow

11. cowlick

10. toadstool

9. supercalifragelistickexpeeallidouches

8. titmouse

7. holepuncher

6. crotchety

5. kumquat

4. shiitake

3. cockeyed

2. gobbledygook

1. Rubbermaid

[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ]

[ The Top 5 List [email protected] http://www.topfive.com ]