Q: How many Microsoft programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, that’s the engineers’ job.
Q: Well then, how many Microsoft engineers does it take to screw in a light
bulb?
A: None, that’s the programmers’ job.
Author: admin
Into Thin Air
Question:What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other? Answer:An air mattress.
NFL Team Nick Names – Part I
When a football team is having trouble getting into the win column, fans
usually assign a more appropriate name to describe that team’s performance.
Denver Broncos = Denver Donkeys
Kansas City Chiefs = Kansas City Griefs
Los Angeles Raiders = Los Angeles Faders
San Diego Chargers = San Diego Rechargers
Seattle Seahawks = Seattle Weehawks
Cincinnati Bengals = Cincinnati Plaingels
Cleveland Browns = Cleveland Clowns
Houston Oilers = Houston Spoilers
Pittsburgh Steelers = Pittsburgh Reelers
Buffalo Bills = Buffalo Nils = Buffalo Spills
Indianapolis Colts = Indianapolis Dolts
Miami Dolphins = Miami Stallfins =Miami Soft Ones
New England Patriots = New England Patsys
New York Jets = New York Pets = New York Not Yets.
The preist and Golfer
A preist and a golfer are both members of the City Golf club.
One Saturday they go there to play against each other. They get
to the 8th hole of a 10 hole pitch and the preist is winning.
So the golfer needs to get the next 1 under par.
The golfer hits the ball and misses. So he shouted, “God damn
it, missed the bugger”.
The preist says ,”If you say that one more time, god will open
up the heavens and strike you dead with a lightning bolt.
On the 10th hole the golfer hit the ball and misses. So he
shouted again, “God damn it, missed the bugger.”
So sure enough God opened up the heavens and sent down a
lightning bolt and struck the preist dead.
God said, “God damn it, missed the bugger.
Four Worms and a Funeral
Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a
jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third
worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.
After one day:
First worm – dead
Second worm – dead.
Third worm – dead.
Fourth worm – alive.
Lesson: As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won’t get worms!
It’s an Internet World
A teacher asked one of her pupils, ‘What’s the nation’s capital?’
The reply was, ‘Washington DC’
On being asked what the ‘DC’ stood for, the pupil added, ‘Dot com!’
Polaks Come Back To Fish
These two Polish guys rent a boat and go fishing in a lake. They are
amazed at the number of fish that they caught that day, so one says to
the other, “We’ll have to come back here tomorrow!”
The other asks, “But how will we remember where this spot is?”
The first guy then takes a can of spray paint, paints an X on the bottom of the boat, and says, “We’ll just look for this X tomorrow.”
The other guy says, “You idiot! How do you know we’ll get the same boat?”
Life in reverse
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
I mean, life is tough.
It takes up a lot of your time and what do you get at the end of it?
A death.
What’s that, a bonus?
I think the life cycle is all backward.
You should die first, get it out of the way.
Then you live in an old age home.
You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work.
You work 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You do drugs, alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school.
You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating…
and you finish off as an orgasm.
Snowman
Don’t eat dirty snow…Snowman (403K)Note: Our “Send this Joke to A Friend” email thingy doesn’t transmit programs. But if you see this in email, you can click on the link above!
Blonde Joke
Q: What do you get when a blonde and a gang member have a kid?
A: A juvenile delinquent that sprays grafitti on chain-link fences.
CNN Late Breaking News!
It has been reported that Osama bin Laden was captured this morning at 4:22 AM
Pacific Standard Time by U.S. Special Forces.
The main suspect of the attack on the World Trade Center in New York City, bin
Laden was captured at gunpoint as he fled an underground tunnel in a deserted
mountainside of southern Afghanistan.
Northern Alliance troops, who witnessed the events unfold, explained that
moments earlier United States war planes had sprayed liquid Viagra across
southern Afghanistan, and the little prick just popped up!
Q: How many vegans
Q: How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: Dozens and dozens to go round selling raffle tickets so they can afford to buy the new one.