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The dean of women at an exclusive girls’ school was lecturing her students on sexual morality.
“We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation,” she said, “ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?”
A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, “Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?”
What’s the difference between Ted Kaczynski and Monica Lewinsky?
Ted Kaczynski blows people up!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Miniature!
Miniature who?
Miniature open the door, I’ll tell you!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Minneapolis!
Minneapolis who?
Minneapolis a day keeps the doctor away!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Minnie!
Minnie who?
Minnie more!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Minnie!
Minnie who?
No not Minnie-who – Minnehaha!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Minsk!
Minsk who?
Minsk meat!
What is another name for a masturbating bull?
Beef Strokinoff.
15> Poll Results
14> Foreign Body Relations Sub-Committee
13> Stain of the Union on Dress
12> Executive Dribblage
10> One Less Stanford Tuition
9> That About Which Hillary Was Not Consulted
8> Friendly Fire
7> The Intern’s Nametag
6> Heir Force One
5> Results of Post-Erection Euphoria
4> Troop Pullout Lateral Casualties
3> Billy Jack
2> Leak from the White House Staff
1> Citizen Stain
A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn�t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, “Don�t worry. You�ll never have to go to jail with all that money.� And the lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn�t have a dime.
Child: “Daddy, how was I born?”
Dad answered: “Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said —–
You’ve Got Male!
You so poor yo roaches share beds.
One day a man was walking along the beach when he found a bottle, when he opened it up a genie poped out. The genie said he could have one wish. The man thought about it a while then told the man that he was afraid of heights and got sea sick, but really wanted to go to Hawaii so he asked the genie to make a highway to Hawaii.
“I don’t know said the genie”, that is really difficult. Do you have another request?”
“Well, I really want to know all about women, you know, how they tick and why their the way they are!”
The genie replied: “Will that be two lanes or four?”
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and
says, ”Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?”
Then the lady answered, ”Excuse me, I think this is a goose.”
And the bartender says, ”Excuse me, I was talking to the goose.”
I tried runway modeling once.
Boy was that a disaster… they won’t let me in that airport ever again!
Q: Why don’t blondes make good pharmacists?A: They can’t get the bottle into the typewriter.