20> After finally winning the war on terror, the administration
turns its sights on “people with disproportionately large heads and
rich, overbearing wives.”
19> Now it’s Cheney’s turn to live in the White House and Bush’s
turn to hide in the undisclosed location.
18> After seeing “Team America, World Police,” Bush vows to topple
North Korea’s puppet regime.
17> “I’d like to express my thanks to Senator Kerry and let him know
Laura found his candidacy inspiring. She now has a few new
positions of her own.”
16> Military outsourced to Honduras to take advantage of cheap labor.
15> Bill O’Reilly joins the administration as Secretary of the
Ladies.
14> Michael Moore named ambassador to Iraq.
13> Bush forced to resign after it is revealed that Cheney’s new
heart was grown from a banned stem cell line.
12> Huge friggin’ parties this week at the homes of Jay Leno, David
Letterman, Jon Stewart and Conan O’Brien.
11> Smirking and nicknames both back on the “cool” list again.
10> As a reward to our men and women in uniform, the CIA turns up
solid evidence of weapons of mass destruction in Tahiti.
9> The Statue of Liberty is deported to France, from whence she came.
8> Bill Clinton joins Habitat for Humanity and is placed in charge
of nailing things.
7> The voices in George’s head tell him the time is right to invade
Canada.
6> Lower taxes for all high-income people, except documentary
filmmakers.
5> Vice President Cheney hardly makes the effort to not move his
lips anymore.
4> “Hey, I just remembered a mistake I made!”
3> Still buzzing from his aircraft carrier appearance, the president
decides to dress up like a fireman and ride in a real firetruck.
2> Bruce Springsteen receives his draft notice.
1> Continual sighs of despair centered in major cities accelerate
global warming.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com
]
[ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]