Author: admin

Una pareja est� celebrando su luna de miel y deciden ir a un hotel elegante de cinco estrellas. Lo particular de esta pareja es que la novia era de China y el marido a�n no hablaba bien el idioma de su mujer.

Lleg� la gran noche esperada por la pareja y se pusieron a hacerlo, de repente en medio acto la esposa empieza a gritar “�CHINZO! �CHINZO! �CHINZO!”

El novio, suponiendo que era un grito de placer, le puso m�s ganas al asunto.

A la ma�ana siguiente el ahora esposo fue a jugar golf muy temprano con unos amigos. Cuando se acercaron al quinto hoyo se toparon con un grupo de chinos que igual que ellos jugaban golf. De repente uno de los chinos grita “�CHINZO!”. El esposo record� los gritos de su mujer y le pregunt� a uno de sus acompa�antes si sab�a lo que significaba CHINZO. El amigo cordialmente se vuelve y le contesta:

“Claro que s� el significado de esa palabra, los chinos la usan cuando se equivocan de HOYO.”

Manolo y Pepe quer�an cruzar el Canal de la Mancha nadando, 40 Km m�s o menos. Salen de Francia y a los 10 Kilometros Manolo dice:

“Pepe, no doy m�s.”

“Sigue Manolo, que despues estamos en los Records Guinnes.”

A los 20 Km dice:

“No doy m�s Pepe, no doy m�s.”

“Sigue, sigue, que ya hicimos la mitad.”

Y as� siguen. Cuando faltaban 100 metros para llegar Manolo le dice:

“No, Pepe, yo ya no siento las piernas. Perd�name, pero yo me vuelvo.”

You might be stupid if…….you can’t remember how to spell I.Q….you can’t remember the number for 911…you just discovered that your AM radio also works in the afternoon…you use correction fluid on your PC monitor…you fail Physical Education…you cannot spell “it”…you try to turn the light on to find a flashlight in a power outage!…you put braille on a drive up teller machine…you think Taco Bell is a mexican phone company…you think pigpen is something to write with…you think a cartoon is a song about automobiles…you use your cd-rom unit as a drink holder…you frequently misspell your name…you’ve ever been stuck in a toilet seat…you walk your kid to school because you are in the same grade!…it takes you 2 hours to watch 60 minutes…you often wonder who Ronald McDonalds parents are….you sell your car for gas money…you think hamburger helper comes with a man…you try thinking and nothing happens!!!…you think a quarterback is a refund……you think hot dogs are real meat….people nick-name you Homer……you cook minute rice for an hour…upon approaching a traffic sign that says “STOP AHEAD”, you reach over and grab your passenger by the top of the head….you lose $25 on a horse race and another $25 on the instant replay!…you were the one testing out the shark bite suit…you get tangled up in a cordless phone…you need to be reminded to breathe…someone tells you to call 911, and you can’t find the 11…you take a donut back because there is a hole in it……you stare at the orange juice because it says concentrate…you have to look stupid up in the dictionary…you sit on the tv and watch the couch…you tell your wife not to laugh as you point the gun to your head ’cause she’s next!…you think yogi bear played for the Yankees…you list the police department as a reference on a resume…you get fired from volunteer work…you can’t find the “any” key on the keyboard…you turn the light on to see if its dark…you take your chia pet for a walk……you wear your glasses while looking for them

Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a head covering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrived without her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady reappears, wearing her blouse tied to her head. The shocked priest says, ‘Madam, I cannot allow you to enter this holy place without your wearing a blouse.’ ‘But Father, I have a divine right,’ she informs. ‘Yes, I see. And your left one isn’t bad either, but you still must wear a blouse to enter this church!’ he insists.