Author: admin

This is a copy of an actual letter that was sent to a bill collector:

Dear Scumbags:

7-26-85

I received your pathetic, ridiculous attempt at legalized extortion yesterday. Just out of curiosity, what’s your cut if you collect? The first thing you need to realize is that I have no credit record to “protect”. My credit rating is piss-poor, and I have skipped out on bills all over the United States.

However, I need a personal phone, so I have no intention of skipping out on this phone bill. More significantly, though, I would never, but NEVER, pay a past-due bill to you scum-sucking leeches. Which leads me to my next point: It should be clear by now that I do not have a high regard for your `arasitic profession. In fact, in my eyes, you would be doing yourselves, and society at large, a favor by closing down immediately and entering a more respectable field–like pimping or kiddie porn. You certainly have the professional ethics for it . . .

In sum, I have every intention of paying my phone bill and restoring my service, hopefully within sixty days. But you heaps of rancid guano will have had NOTHING to do with it. Please continue to bombard me with notices–I just bought some extra-large trash bags to handle the load. Oh, and please feel free to send a representative to my home.

Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to knock him down the flight of 25 steps leading to my front door. That is, if filth-balls of your ilk ever appear in daylight . . . Worst of luck and my sincerest wishes for the immediate failure of your “business”.

GET A JOB!!!

Sincerely,

Pepito estaba en el kinder y un d�a le dice a su mam� que ten�a un festival el viernes en la escuela. La mam� muy entusiasmada le pregunta que si de que lo iba a vestir, a lo que Pepito responde que de castor.

Su mam� gast� mas de 1000 pesos pues quer�a que su hijo fuera el mejor del festival.

En fin, ese d�a Pepito le dice a su madre que si quiere que le cante la canci�n y ella dice que s�.

Y Pepito empieza a cantar:

“Los castooores a Bel�n coooorrren pre su rooooo sos…”

Q; WHAT DID BATMAN SAY TO ROBIN B4 THEY GOT INTO THE BATMOBILE

A:GET INTO THE BATMOBILE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just before Rosh Hashana, a team of terrorists invades the shul and takes
the rabbi, the cantor and the shul president hostage. Hours later, the
governor stands tough, he won’t give them a million dollars, nor a getaway
car nor a Jumbo Jet.

The terrorists gather the three hostages in a corner and inform them that
things look bad and they’re going to have to shoot them. Nevertheless, to
show that they’re not really a bad bunch, they’ll grant each hostage one
wish.

“Please,” says the rabbi, “for the last two months I’ve been working on my
Rosh Hashana Sermon. What a waste to die now without having carried it
before an audience. I’ll go happilly if you let me recite my sermon. It’s
an hour – ninety minutes long, tops.”

They promise to grant him the wish.

“Please,” says the cantor, “after 50 years I’ve finally gotten the
‘Hinneni’ prayer just right. What a waste to die and not sing it to an
audience. It’s only about 45 minutes long – then I’ll go happily.”

The terrorists promise to grant the cantor his wish too and they turn to
the shul president.

“Please,” says the president with tears in his eyes, “Shoot me first!”