Why do dogs put their noses in women’s crotches?
Because they can.
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman
Author: admin
Knock Knock 55
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Dwight!
Dwight who?
Dwight way and the wrong way!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Earl!
Earl who?
Earl be glad to tell you when you open this door!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Ears!
Ears who?
Ears looking at you!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
E.C.!
E.C. who?
E.C. Street!
Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Eddie!
Eddie who?
Eddie body home!
Don’t be so open-minded —
Don’t be so open-minded — your brains will fall out.
Susie walkin the dog!
A little girl asks her Mom, “May I take the dog for a walk around the block?”
Mom says, “No honey, the dog is in heat.”
“What’s that mean?” asked the child.
“Go ask your Father. I think he’s in the garage”.
The little girl goes to the garage and says, “Dad, can I take Susie for a walk around the block? I asked Mom but she said the dog was in heat and said I should ask you”.
Her Dad said, “Bring Susie over here”.
He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog’s rear end with it and said, “Ok, you can go now but keep Susie on the leash and only go one time around the block”.
The little girl leaves and returns a few minutes later with no dog on the leash.
Her Dad asks, “Where’s Susie?”
The girl replies, “Susie ran out of gas about halfway down the block -and there’s another dog pushing her home!
You Might Be a Lawyer if…
You are charging someone for reading these jokes.
You believe that a forty words’ sentence is a short one.
You have a daughter named Sue and a son named Bill.
You can look at a contract and instantly tell whether it’s verbal or written.
Your other car is a BMW.
When you look in a mirror, you see a lawyer.
When your wife says “I love you,” you cross-examine her.
Free man by now
A wife wakes up in the middle of the night and finds her husband sitting on
the bed crying. She asks, “Whets wrong?”
He says, “Remember when your daddy caught us in your room when you were
sixteen and told me I’d have to marry you or he was going to send me to
jail for thirty years?”
She says, “Yeah, but why are you crying?”
He says, “I’d be a free man today.”
ONE DAY 3 BLONDES TAKE A WALK IN THE FOREST….
ONE DAY 3 BLONDES TAKE A WALK IN THE FOREST.
WHILE THEY ARE WALKING ,THEY COME ALONG SOME TRACKS.
THE FIRST BLONDE SAYS,THESE ARE BEAR TRACKS.
THE SECOND BL0NDE JUMPS IN AND SAYS,NO THOSE ARE DEER TRACKS.
OF COURSE THE THIRD BLONDE HAD TO PUT IN HER PIECE AND SAYS,
ANYONE CAN TELL THOSE ARE FOX TRACKS.
ALL THREE OF THEM WERE STILL ARGUING 10 MINUTES LATER WHEN A TRAIN HIT THEM
Top Ten Times in History When the ‘F’ Word was Appropriate
10. ‘What the *&%# was that?’ – Mayor of Hiroshima, – August 1945
9. ‘Where did all these *&%#ing Indians come from?’ – Custer, 1877
8. ‘Any *&%#ing idiot could understand that.’ – Einstein, 1938
7. ‘It does SO *&%#ing look like her!’ – Picasso, 1926
6. ‘How the *&%# did you work that out?’ – Pythagorus, 126 BC
5. ‘You want WHAT on the *&%#ing ceiling?’ – Michelangelo, 1566
4. ‘I don’t suppose it’s gonna *&%#ing rain.’ – Joan of Arc, 1434
3. ‘Scattered *&%#ing showers…my ass!’ – Noah, 314 BC
2. ‘Aw c’mon, who the *&%# is going to find out?’ – Bill Clinton, 1997
1. ‘I need this parade like I need a *&%#ing hole in my head!’ – JFK, 1963
Education for women
Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both. Appreciating the Humor of the Three Stooges. “Do These Jeans Make Me Look Fat?” – Why Men Lie. TV Remotes: For Men Only.
Monkey
why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
~because it was dead~
Ha ha ha
Q. what goes ha ha ha ha plop?
A. someone lauging there head of!
The top 6 reasons computers are female……
The top 6 reasons computers are female…
6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the
corner.
5. No one but the creator understands the internal logic.
4. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to
memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
2. The message “Bad Command or File Name” is about as
informative as “If you don’t know why I’m mad at you, then
I’m certainly not going to tell you”.
and the number one reason computers are female:
1. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find
yourself spending half of your paycheck on accessories for it!