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What did the Jewish American Princess say when she knocked over a
priceless Ming vase?

Oh, Daaaaddy, it’s OK, I’m not hurt.

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, “Do you want to go to heaven?” The man said, “I do Father.” The priest said, “Then leave this pub right now!” and approached a second man.”Do you want to got to heaven?” “Certainly, Father,” was the man’s reply. “Then leave this den of Satan,” said the priest, as he walked up to O’Toole.”Do you want to go to heaven?” “No, I don’t Father,” O’Toole replied. The priest looked him right in the eye, and said, “You mean to tell me that when you die you don’t want to go to heaven?”O’Toole smiled, “Oh, when I die, yes, Father. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.”

Armando went to his neighbor and asked, “Hey Carlos, do you like a woman who has a beeg stomach steeking oll the way out?”

“No,” says Carlos.

Armando asks, “Do you like a woman whose teets hang almost to her knees?”

“No,” says Carlos.

“Well, Carlos, would you like a woman whose heeps are so mucho grande?”

“Caramba! No, amigo!” Carlos replied.

“Theen tell me why, ” asked Armando, “do you keep screwing my wife?”