Blonde got game

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY.

The lawyer asks the blonde if she would like to play a fun game.

The blonde, who is tired, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, “I ask you a question, and if you don’t know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vise versa.”

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now agitated, says, “Okay, if you don’t know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don’t know the answer, I will pay you $500.00.”

This catches the blonde’s attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. “What’s the distance from the earth to the moon?”

The blonde doesn’t say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

“Okay, ” the lawyer continues. “Your turn.”

She asks the lawyer, “What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?”

The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references but he can’t find an answer.

He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress, but he still has no answer.

Frustrated, he e-mails all his friends and coworkers, which turns out to be to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, “Thank you,” and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, “Well, what’s the answer?”

Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

Nude Running

A woman was having an affair during the day while her husband was at work. One day she was in bed with her boyfriend when she heard her husband’s car pull in the driveway. She yelled at the boyfriend, “Hurry! Grab your clothes and jump out the window, my husband’s home early!”

The boyfriend looked out the window and said, “I can’t jump out the window! It’s raining like hell out there!”

She said, “If my husband catches us in here, he’ll kill us both!”

So the boyfriend grabs his clothes and jumps out the window! As he began running down the street, he discovered he had run right in the middle of a town marathon, so he started running along beside the others. Being naked, with his clothes tucked under his arm, he tried to “blend in” as best he could.

One of the runners asked him, “Do you always run in the nude?”

He answered, while gasping for air, “Oh, yes, it feels so free having the air blow over your skin while you are running.”

The other runner then asked the nude man, “Do you always run carrying your clothes on your arm?”

The nude man answered breathlessly, “Oh, yes, that way I can get dressed right at the end of the run and get in my car to go home!”

The runner then asked, “Do you always wear a condom when you run?”

He replied “Only if it’s raining.”

Un a�o tiene 365 d�as

Un a�o tiene 365 d�as para poder estudiar.

Despues de sacar 52 domingos, solo nos quedan 313 d�as.

En verano hay 50 d�as en los que hace demasiado calor para poder estudiar as� que nos quedamos con 263 d�as.

Dormimos ocho horas diarias, al a�o suponen 122 d�as, as� que ahora contamos con 141 d�as.

Si nos damos una hora al d�a hablando con amigos y familiares, eso nos quita 15 dias mas, ya solo quedan 81.

Ex�menes y tets nos toman como m�nimo 35 d�as en nuestro a�o, as� que solo quedan 46.

Sacando aproximadamente 40 d�as de vacaciones y fiestas, nos quedamos con seis d�as.

Digamos que como m�nimo est�s tres d�as enfermo, as� que quedan tres para poder estudiar.

Digamos tambi�n que solo sales con los amigos dos d�as. �Ya solo queda uno! �pero resulta que ese �nico d�a es tu cumplea�os!

�As� que buena suerte a todos los que esteis estudiando!

Pizza

There was a girl and her boyfriend and they were in her bedroom friday night! She was on her period and couldn’t f*** so her boy friend decided that he would finger her. Later that night her dad herd a lot of noise in ehr room and went up to see what was going on, He dad came in the room and started yelling and asked, “What are you guys doing?” The girls boyfriend licked his finger and said, “EATING PIZZA”

Great Pick-Up lines to use on Blondes

1) That dress would look awfully nice on the floor next to my bed.

2) Do you want to see something swell?

3) What do you like for breakfast?

4) Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?

5) Say, didn’t we go to different schools together?

6) Why don’t you sit on my lap, and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up.

7) Sit on my lap and we’ll get things straight between us.

8) Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

9) Would you like Gin and platonic, or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?

10) You smell wet. Lets party!

11) If I told you that you have a nice body, would you hold it against me?

12) Didn’t anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me? I thought you knew!

13) You have the ass of a great artist.