Knock KnockWho’s there?Chuck!Chuck who?Chuck and see if the door is locked!
Author: admin
La mam� de Pepito estaba
La mam� de Pepito estaba a punto de tener un hermanito. Un d�a Pepito entr� cuando su mam� estaba desnuda y le pregunt� qu� era el pelo que ten�a entre las piernas.
Ella respondi�, “Es mi trapo de limpieza.”
Semanas despu�s la mam� tuvo a su beb�, y Pepito entr� otra vez cuando ella estaba desnuda, pero en el hospital el doctor le hab�a rasurado el vello p�bico. Pepito le pregunt�: “�Qu� le pas� a tu trapo de limpieza?”
“Se me perdi�.”
Pepito, tratando de ser �til, empez� a buscar el trapo de limpiar de su mam�. Unos d�as despu�s Pepito entr� corriendo adonde estaba su mam�, y le dijo “Encontr� tu trapo de limpieza.”
“�D�nde lo encontraste?”
“Lo tiene la sirvienta. Est� lavando la cara de mi pap� con �l.”
No Smoking Here
A guy enters a drugstore and lights up a cigar.
The owner, a bit outraged, says “Sir, please refrain from smoking here, it is a public place..”
A bit bewildered, the guy answers “But it is only yesterday I bought those cigars here.”
The owner quietly replies : “Irrelevant, sir, we also sell condoms here!”
Q: How many believable,
Q: How many believable, competent, “just right for the job” presidential candidates does it take to change a lightbulb ?A: It’s going to be a dark 4 years, isn’t it?
Drunken Bases in Symphony Performance
There was this big performance of Beethoven’s 9th Symphony. At
one point in this piece the bases have absolutely nothing to do
for pages and pages, and it so happened there was a little
tavern across the street from the concert hall. So, when they
began their endless rests they quietly put down their
instruments, and discreetly slipped out to get some drinks.
After a couple rounds one of the bases pointed out that perhaps
they should go back so they wouldn’t be late. Another base said,
“No, don’t worry. I took care of it! You see, I tied the end of
the conductors music together, so when he gets close to the end
he’ll have to slow the tempo way down while he tries to untie
it!” The others agree this is a good idea and order another
round.
After the next round they head back to the concert hall and the
conductor looks really angry! After all, it was the bottom of
the 9th, the score was tied, and the bases were loaded!
Blonde goes camping
Sally, a blonde, goes on her first camping trip. Her husband,who was a Scout Leader, was sick so she volunteered to take over for him one weekend. So, she got everyone together and assigned different duties to each scout.
Gabby was responsible for the food supplies, Mike would be the cook this trip, Johnnie was responsible for their maps and making up a time schedule, Tim was to decide on their events, and to fit them into Johnnie’s schedule and Sally would test all their equipmen tbefore setting out.
They arrived at Big Moose Mountain and everyone was excited. They arrived right on schedule and were getting ready for their first event -hiking up the mountain. But first, they wanted to get something to eat. So Sally asked Mike if he would prepare the meal and, of course, Mike said he would.
About 10 minutes later he came back and told Sally, “I can’ tmake the supper. I can’t light a fire with the matches you brought.”
Sally replied, “I can’t understand that. Those matches should be perfectly fine. I tested them all just before we left.”
If the blind can read your face.
Q. How can you tell if you have acne?
A. If the blind can read your face.
Sound Dirty In Law But Aren’t:
Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren’t…
Have you looked through her briefs?
He is one hard judge!
Counselor, let’s do it in chambers.
His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
Is it a penal offense?
Better leave the handcuffs on.
For $200 an hour, she better be good!
Can you get him to drop his suit?
The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
Think you can get me off?
Tough Brake
One day these 3 guys were walking & found a demand.The demand said go in the fores get 3 ot a kind of fruit,so they did. The 1st gut got apples and the demander said stick it up your butt, so he did but the demander got bored and sent him up in heaven.The second guy was smart and got 3 grapesbut he was laughing too much so the demander sent him to heaven.The first guy said why did you laugh you could have lived, and the second guy said, because the tird guy had pinaples.
Ghost room
What room do ghosts never go to
The living room
Bad command. Bad, bad command!
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Aide-Gate Funnies
This just in from my good friend Mark, who writes: ‘I like the cartoon in the Newsweek that arrived today . . .’Bill is lying in bed while Hillary reads: ‘Stand By Your Man.’ His eyes go wide as she comments ‘Bye the way, I hired a new intern today. Her name is Lorena Bobbitt.’