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Old People…

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My friend is a rather old-fashioned lady, always quite delicate
and elegant, especially in her language. She and her husband
were planning a week’s vacation in Florida, so she wrote to a
particular campground and asked for a reservation.

She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped, but
didn’t quite know how to ask about the toilet facilities. She
just couldn’t bring herself to write the word “toilet” in her
letter. After much deliberation she finally came up with the
old-fashioned term “bathroom commode.” But when she wrote that
down, she still felt that she was being too forward. So she
started all over again, rewrote the entire letter, and referred
to the bathroom commode merely as the B.C. “Does the campground
have its own B.C.?” is what she finally wrote.

Well, the campground owner wasn’t old-fashioned at all, and when
he got the letter he just couldn’t figure out what the woman was
talking about. That B.C. business really stumped him. After
worrying about it for a while, he showed the letter to several
campers, but no one could imagine what the lady meant, either.
So the campground owner, finally coming to the conclusion that
the lady must be asking about the location of the Baptist
Church, sat down and wrote the following reply:

Dear Madam: I regret very much the delay in answering your
letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C.
is located nine miles north of the campground, and is capable of
seating 250 people at one time. I admit it is quite a distance
away if you are in the habit of going regularly, but no doubt
you will be pleased to learn that a great number of our people
take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually
arrive early and stay late. If you don’t start early, you
probably will not make it in time. The last time my wife and I
went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up
the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that
right now, there is a supper planned to raise money to buy more
seats. They’re going to hold it in the basement of the B.C. I
would like to say it pains me very much not being able to go
more often, but it surely is no lack of desire on my part. As we
grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, particularly in
cold weather. If you decide to come down to our campground,
perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you,
and introduce you to all the other folks. Remember, this is a
friendly community!!

A plane flying in the 1930s

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In the early 1930’s, a farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was
fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost.

“$10 for 3 minutes,” replied the pilot. “That’s too much,” said the farmer.

The pilot thought for a second and then said, “I’ll make you a deal. If you
and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be
free. But if you make a sound, you’ll have to pay $10.”

The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed,
the pilot said to the farmer, “I want to congratulate you for not making a
sound. You are a brave man.”

“Maybe so,” said the farmer, “But I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my
wife fell out.”

Jonah’s Fate

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A little girl spoke to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human
because even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

The little girl said, “But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale.”

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. “It
is physically impossible!” she said.

Undaunted, the little girl said, “Well, when I get to heaven I will ask
Jonah.”

To this, the teacher said, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then YOU ask him!”