A man is walking down the beach one day and he finds a lamp. He gives it a rub and out pops a genie. The genie says “Since you have released me from my prison you can have three wishes, but with these wishes there is a catch. Whatever you get your mother-in-law gets double.” The man thinks for a minute and says “For my first wish I want fifty million dollars.”He thinks for a little while longer and says “For my second wish I want to be adored by the ten most beautiful women in the world.” The genie says “You do realize that your mother-in-law gets double of what you just wished for right?” The man nods and says “For my third wish I want to be beaten half to death”
Author: admin
You so poor
your so poor the last time you had a hotmeal was when a rich man farted ha ha
Why Bill Clinton Won’t Resign
* Fall semester crop of interns just starting White House duty!
* Investment in Rush Limbaugh’s radio show paying off big time!
* Al Gore not finished washing stains out of oval office carpet.
* Two more annual “Vodka Hummer” weekends already scheduled with Boris
Yeltsin.
* Free Adult Cable at the White House.
* Just spent $350.00 on “Seasons Greetings from the White House” holiday
cards.
* Bimbo access tunnel beneath White House just nearing completion.
* Needs more time to remove smut from White House Personal Computer.
* Approval rating still soaring high (according to the latest correctional
facility polls).
* Hillary said no!!
The Gay in the Bar
A gay guy walks into a bar and says “bartender give me a brewskie.”
The bartender says, “We don’t serve your kind here.”
The gay continues, “I’ll just sit in the corner and drink my beer and won’t say anything.”
The bartender says, “Well, all right!” and pours a beer.
A while later a cowboy walks in and says “Bartender give me a beer! I’m so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow’s balls”
A voice is heard from the corner. “Moo! Moo! Buckaroo!”
Yo mama’s So Old
Yo’ mama so old, I slapped her on the back and her tits fell off!
Baptists and Beer
Q: Why should you never ask one Baptist over to watch football with you, but
instead always invite two?
A: Invite one; he’ll drink all your beer.
Invite two and neither of them will drink a drop!
Ways to confuse a roommate
These are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.85. Leave apple cores on his/her bed.
A Problem?
If a customer walked into a hardware store and swore by a certain type of bathroom cabinet to another customer, saying how good it is, would you say the first customer had a pro-vanity problem?
Space Race
During the heat of the space race in the 1960’s, the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules.After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of $1 million.The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on Earth.The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem of writing in zero gravity……used a pencil.
Jonny
If jonny cracks corn and no one cares why is there a song about him?
Sanity and insanity overlap a
Sanity and insanity overlap a fine gray line.
Dos amigos se encuentran en
Dos amigos se encuentran en la calle. Uno de los dos lleva un perro. El otro le dice:
“Caramba, qu� perro m�s bonito, �a d�nde vas?”
“Lo llevo al veteriario.”
“�Ah! �es que est� enfermo?”
“No, que va, es que se ha vuelto maric�n, y esta noche me ha cogido por detr�s y me ha dado por el culo.”
“Vaya qu� l�stima, tener que matarlo.”
“Qu� dices t�o, si lo llevo al veterinario para que le corte las u�as, que me ha dejado la espalda hecha un desastre.”