Author: admin

Un Doctor acababa de tener una larga sesi�n de sexo con uno de sus pacientes. Mientras descansaba comenz� a sentirse un poco culpable, pues pensaba que lo que hac�a no era �tico. En eso un peque�o demonio apareci� sobre uno de sus hombros y le dijo: “Tranquilo, muchos doctores tienen sexo con sus pacientes; ya ves, t� no eres ni el primero ni el �ltimo.”

Esto hizo sentir al doctor un poco mejor, hasta que otro demonio apareci� en su hombro y dijo: “S�, idiota, pero los otros doctores no son veterinarios.”

When you mix flour and water you get glue. Right?
When you mix flour, water, eggs, and sugar you get cake. Right?

I used to wonder…”What happened to the glue?”Then I came to know that the glue is what makes the cake stick to your butt!

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheik came in.

“I am the master of all these women. No one else can touch them except me. You three men must pay for what you have done today. You will be punished in a way corresponding to your profession.”

The sheik turns to the first man and asks him what he does for a living. “I’m a cop”, says the first man. “Then we will shoot your penis off!”, said the sheik.

He then turned to the second man and asked him what he did for a living. “I’m a firemen”, said the second man. “Then we will burn your penis off!”, said the sheik.

Finally, he asked the last man,”And you, what do you do for a living?” And the third man answered, with a sly grin, “I’m a lollipop salesman!”

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder…

3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
Why is “abbreviation” such a long word?
Don’t use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error…
A flying saucer results when a nudist spills his coffee.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone…
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
I used up all my sick days, so I’m calling in dead.
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
I’d explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
I don’t have a solution but I admire the problem.
Don’t be so open-minded your brains will fall out.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished!
Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggie!’… till you can find a rock.
Diplomacy – the art of letting someone have your way.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If things get any worse, I’ll have to ask you to stop helping me.
If I want your opinion, I’ll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
It’s not hard to meet expenses, they’re everywhere.
Help Wanted: Telepathy. You know where to apply.
Look out for #1. Don’t step in #2 either.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Car service: If it ain’t broke, we’ll break it.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved.
Dain bramaged.
Department of Redundancy Department
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
COFFEE.EXE Missing – Insert Cup and Press Any Key
2 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
C:WINDOWS C:WINDOWSGO C:PCCRAWL
C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN

Best file compression around: “DEL *.*” = 100% compression
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted…Cereal Port Not Responding
The name is Baud……, James Baud.
Access denied–nah nah na na

Actually, God mad Adam white because He Himself is white. Here’s the proof:�

To Moses he said “I am what I am”.

If He were black, He’d have said “I be what I be.”

A medical student was in the morgue one day after classes, getting a little practice in before the final exams. He went over to a table where a body was lying face down. He removed the sheet over the body and to his surprise he found a cork in the corpse’s rectum. Figuring this was fairly unusual, he pulled the cork out, and to his surprise, music began playing “On the road again… Just can’t wait to get on the road again…”The student was amazed, and placed the cork back in the rectum. The music stopped. Totally freaked out, the student called the Medical Examiner over to the corpse.”Look at this. This is really something!” the student told the examiner as he pulled the cork back out again.”On the road again… Just can’t wait to get on the road again…””So what?”, the Medical Examiner replied, obviously unimpressed with the student’s discovery.”But isn’t that the most amazing thing you’ve ever seen?” asked the student.”Are you kidding?” replied the Examiner, “Any asshole can sing country music.”

What is OJ Simpson’s web site address?

O-dot-J-dot-slash-slash-backslash-backslash-escape