Q: What’s the definition of a minor second?A: Two lead guitarists playing in unison.
Author: admin
A blonde woman competed with a brunette and…
A blonde woman competed with a brunette and a redhead in the Breast Stroke
division of an English Channel swim competition. The brunette came in
first and the redhead was a close second. Much later, the blonde finally
reached shore, completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and
coffee, she muttered “I don’t want to sound like a sore loser, but I think
those other two girls used their arms.”
There is no limit to
There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don’t care who gets the credit.
Grabbing air
What do you call a blonde grabbing at air?
Collecting her thoughts.
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
Blonde Joke
Q: What is a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme
How Can I Be a Better President
Bill Clinton went to bed one night and then suddenly woke up to
see George Washington standing there. He asked, “How can I be a
better president?” Washington replied, “Be honest Bill.”
Clinton went back to bed, then he woke again to see Thomas
Jefferson standing there. He asked, “How can I be a better
president?” Jefferson replied, “Be loyal Bill.”
He went back to bed, then woke again to see Abe Lincoln standing
there. He asked, “Abe, how can I be a better president?” Lincoln
relied, “Go to a theater Bill.”
(Abe was killed in a theater)
You use your fishing license
You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.On stag night, you take a real deer.Your back porch is bigger than your house.
The 3 convicts.
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to
take one item with them to help them occupy their time while
incarcerated.
On the bus, one turned to another and said, “So, what did you
bring?”
The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he
intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the
“Grandma Moses of Jail”.
Then he asked the first, “What did you bring?”
The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and said, “I brought
cards. I can play poker, solitaire, gin, and any number of games.”
The third convict was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself.
The other two took notice and asked, “Why are you so smug? What did
you bring?”
The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said, “I brought
these!”
The other two were puzzled and asked, “What on earth can you do with
those?”
He grinned and pointed to the box and said, “Well according to the
box.. I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating….”
The old man
a man is walking through the park one day when he sees an old man sitting on a park bench crying. He approaches him and says
“you alright mate wats wrong?”
“is your pension not through yet?”
the old man sobbing replies
“no im a millionaire money is no object to me”
the man then asks him,
“is it your health thats making you sad?”
the old man replies
“no im fit as a flea, i run ten miles every day”
The man nods knowingly and says
“aagh i know whats wrong with you.. its women trouble?”
the old man mystifies him by replying
“no i have a gorgeous 21 year old wife waiting on me at home!”
the man then stops, “wait a minute” he says “your totally minted, you have a stunning wife and are in peak physical condition! what the hell are you crying about?”
the old man bursts into tears again and says
“i cant remember where i live!!!”
What do you call ’69’ in China?…
What do you call ’69’ in China?
Two-can-chew.
Q. How is a man like a used car?…
Q. How is a man like a used car?
A. Both are easy to get, cheap and unreliable.
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Hsta q 1 dia ns rglaron ntro 1er mvil y ns nstalarn INTERNET n ksa. Dsd ntonces, y sbretodo grcias al sms dl mvil, al Mssngr dl MSN y a ls xats (q gran invnto!) ls jovns d oy (y tb ls no tn jovns) ddikms + tmpo q nunk a la scritura y a l lctura. Inxplikblmnte ls nots d lnguaj an bjado n pikdo y ls profsors ns sign exando la bronk kda vz q ns dvulvn 1 rdaccion, o qando no pronunciams bien 1 acnto.
Y yo m prgunto: Si ns pasams tods ls class nviando mnsjits d amor a aqya prsona tan special q ns snrio n l psiyo dl insti y n casa no acems + q pasarns toda l trde dlant dl ordnador xatndo kn ls colegs… Pq ntoncs kda vz acems + falts d ortografia???