yo momma so fat she play pool w/ the planets
yo momma so fat when she put on a yellow rain coat everyone yelled TAXI!
Author: admin
Disabled Swimming Ra
Three blokes enter a disabled swimming contest. The first has no arms the second no legs and the third has no body, just a head. They all line up, the whistle blows and “splash” they’re all in the pool. The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly, but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head sank straight to the bottom. Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. He can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool, so he decides he had better dive down to rescue the head guy. He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where-upon the head starts coughing and spluttering. Eventually the head catches his breath and shouts: “Three goddamn years I’ve spent learning to swim with my goddamn ears, then five seconds before the whistle, some bastard puts a swimming cap on me”
Lipstick on the mirror
According to a radio report, a middle school in Oregon was faced with a unique problem. A number of girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the custodian. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every day.
To demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors. She asked the custodian to clean one of the mirrors. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it into the toilet, and then cleaned the mirror.
Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
A silly joke series
A dirty joke: A clean man fell in the mud.A clean joke: He went inside and took a bath with bubbles.A dirty joke: Bubbles is the girl next door!
If Women Ruled the World
![[Image]](http://jokeindex.com/images/WomenRuleWorld1.jpg)
![[Image]](http://jokeindex.com/images/WomenRuleWorld3.jpg)
![[Image]](http://jokeindex.com/images/WomenRuleWorld4.jpg)
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Baker’s Law: Misery no
Baker’s Law: Misery no longer loves company, Nowadays it insists on it. – Columnist Russell Baker
Yo mama
yo mama so old, she took a drivers test with a dinosaur.
Beware of altruism. It
Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil.
Knock KnockWho’s there?Thelonius!Thelonius who?Thelonius kid
Knock KnockWho’s there?Thelonius!Thelonius who?Thelonius kid in town!
The Golfer And The Barn
A man hit his drive behind a barn and could not see the green. His wife said,
“I’ll open the doors on both ends of the barn and you can hit the ball through
the barn to the green.”
When the husband did this he hit his wife in the temple and killed her on the
spot.
About six months later the husband was playing golf with a friend and sure
enough he hit his ball behind the same barn. His friend said, “I’ll open the
doors on both ends of the barn and you can hit the ball through the barn to the
green.”
The husband said, “I don’t think I can do this and anyway I hate this hole.”
His friend said, “It’s not that hard and why do you hate this hole?”
The husband said, after bowing his head, “The last time I played this hole I
got an 8!”
Did you hear the one
Did you hear the one about the Indian who slept in the hotel lobby because
he didn’t have a reservation?
Elephants
A five year old boy was living with his mother, as his parents had divorced.
One Sunday, she decided to take him to the zoo for the first time in his life.
As they passed the various assortment of animals, she would tell the little boy
what they were called and make him repeat it. After the lions, gorillas,
giraffes and bears, they came upon the elephant exhibit.
“That’s an elephant”, the mother said.
After the child repeated after her, he asked, “Mommy? What’s that thing
hanging down from the elephant?”
The mother replied, “That’s his trunk, sweetheart.”
“No, no”, said the child, “Behind that!”
“Oh, that’s his tail”, she said.
“No, no!” the boy exclaimed. “That thing in the middle!”
The woman was flustered and replied, “Uhhhh, that’s nothing, honey!” And they
moved on…..
The next weekend, the boy’s father came to pick him up and the child cried,
“Daddy, let’s go to the zoo! I learned all about the animals, and I want to show
you what I learned!”
The father agreed, so off to the zoo they went. As they passed each cage, the
child would shout out the name of the animal, and the father would praise him
for being so smart. Finally, they arrived at the elephant cage, and the boy
shouted, “Elephant!”
“Very GOOD”, beamed the father. “I’m proud of you for remembering all these
animals!”
The boy asked, “Daddy? What’s that thing hanging down on the elephant?”
The father replied, “That’s his trunk.”
“No!”, the boy moaned, “Behind that!”
“That’s his tail”, the father replied.
“No, no! That thing in the middle!”
The father stammered, “Er…what did your mother say it was?”
“She said it was nothing!”
“Well”, the man said, puffing out his chest. “Your mother’s spoiled!”