Your momma so poor she got evicted from a cardboard box
Author: admin
The ugly dress
You know what would look better on you then that dress your wearing?……..Me.
a = b a*a = b*a a*a – b*b = b*a – b*b (a-b)…
a = b
a*a = b*a
a*a – b*b = b*a – b*b
(a-b)*(a+b) = b(a-b)
a+b = b
b+b = b
2b = b
2 = 1
I deserve a first class seat
A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the
plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach
because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde,
I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in first class until we reach
Jamaica.”
The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the
blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a
good job and I’m staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.” The head
stewardesses doesn’t even know what to do at this point because they still have
to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blonde is causing a
problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.
The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately
gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the
copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The
copilot replies, “I told her the front half of the airplane wasn’t going to
Jamaica.”
Q&A
Q: What’s the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.
Your Momma So Black
Your momma so black she purple.
Modern Medicine
A Brief History of Medicine
“I have an earache….”
2000 B.C. – Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. – That root is heathen, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. – That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. – That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. – That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. – That antibiotic is artificial! Here, eat this root.
Your Momma is so fat
Your Momma is so fat when she volunteered to clean the cages at the zoo everybody walks past and says “Look At That Hippopotumas”
M&M Penis
A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican all want to go out with
this girl. The guys find out the the girls dad is the devil, so
they ask him what they should do to be worthy of going out with
his daughter.
The devil tells them all to take down their pants, so they do.
The devil goes up to the white man and grabs his penis. The
penis immidiatley melts and the guy runs away yelling.
The devil goes up to the Mexican man and grabs his penis. And
like the other guys, it melts and he runs away yelling.
The devil now walks up to the black man and grabs his penis.
Nothing happens. The devil looks up at the man in bewilderment.
The black man replies, “Melts in your mouth, not in you hands!”
Will’s Dog
Knock, Knock.
Who’s there?
Will.
Will who?
Will Will’s dog stop barking?
Shin: a device for finding
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Evil Overlord Handbook Part One
1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass
visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed,
not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my
dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept
on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by
the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies’ predicament before killing
them.
7. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and
asks, “Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?”,
my reply will be, “No, just sensible.”
8. When I’ve captured my adversary and he says, “Look, before
you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?”
I’ll say, “No” and shoot him.
9. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married
immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in
three weeks’ time during which the final phase of my plan will
be carried out.
10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless
absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large
red button labeled “Danger: Do Not Push.” The big red button
marked “Do Not Push” will instead trigger a spray of bullets on
anyone stupid enough not to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF
switch will not clearly be labeled as such. There will be no
Plug.