Author: admin

The following ads actually appeared in newspapers:

ILLITERATE ? Write today for free help.

AUTO REPAIR SERVICE. Free pick up and delivery. Try us once, you will never go
anywhere again.

DOG FOR SALE Eats anything and is fond of children

STOCK UP AND SAVE. Limit: one.

SEMI ANNUAL AFTER XMAS SALE

DINNER SPECIAL. Turkey $3.25; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00

FOR SALE: Antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

NOW IS YOUR CHANCE to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take
home, too.

GREAT DAMES for sale.

TIRED OF CLEANING YOURSELF? Let me do it

FOR RENT: 6 room hated apartment

WANTED: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink

OUR BIKINIS ARE EXCITING. They are simply the tops.

AND NOW, the superstore unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled
inconvenience.

WE WILL OIL your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1

Un ni�a le pregunta a su madre cu�ntos tipos de hombres hay. La madre, despu�s de pensarlo un rato, le responde:

“Mira hija, los hombres durante su vida pasan por tres fases: Antes de los 29 son como el arbusto del jardin, duros y bien dispuestos. Hasta los 49 son como el roble, fuertes y confiables. Y a partir de los 50 son como los arbolitos de navidad, con las bolitas de adorno…”

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?

wheres my tractor!!

Little Jimmy was laying about on a hill in the middle of a meadow on a warm
spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape.

Soon, he began to think about God.

“God? Are you really there?” Jimmy said out loud.

To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds. “Yes, Jimmy. What can I do
for you?”

Seizing the opportunity, Jimmy asked, “God? What is a million years like to
you?”

Knowing that Jimmy could not understand the concept of infinity, God
responded in a manner to which Jimmy could relate. “A million years to me,
Jimmy, is like a minute.”

“Oh,” said Jimmy. “Well, then, what’s a million dollars like to you?”

“A million dollars to me, Jimmy, is like a penny.”

“Wow!” remarked Jimmy, getting an idea. “You’re so generous…can I have one
of your pennies?”

God replied, “Sure thing, Jimmy! Just a minute.”

Why did god make piss yellow and semen white?

– So [ethnics] could tell if they were coming or going.

Una pareja de reci�n casados est� tratando de poner las cosas en claro. Ella dice:

“Mira, Baldomero, para no andar con evasivas te voy a ser muy clara: cuando traiga el pelo peinado con apartado por un lado, quiere decir que quiero hacer el amor de una forma tranquila. Cuando lo traiga peinado con apartado en medio, lo quiero hacer de manera m�s cachondona. Cuando traiga trenza lo quiero hacer de manera salvaje y cuando lo traiga recogido en un chongo significa que no quiero saber nada de nada”.

�l le contesta:

“Mira, Lupita, yo voy a ser m�s claro: cuando me veas con una cerveza en la mano, significa que quiero hacer el amor de una forma tranquila. Cuando me veas con dos cervezas en la mano, significa que quiero hacer el amor de manera m�s cachondona. Cuando me veas con un paquete de seis, significa que quiero hacerlo de manera salvaje y cuando me veas con dos paquetes de seis de cerveza en la mano quiere decir que me vale madre como andes peinada, �entendido?”

A man flops down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie is stained,
his face is smeared with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin is
sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opens a newspaper and begins reading.
After a few minutes the guy turns to the priest and asks, “say, father, what
causes arthritis?”
“Loose living; cheap, wicked woman; too much alcohol; and contempt for your
fellow man,” answers the priest.
“I�ll be damned,” the drunk mutters, returning to his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he said, nudges the man and apologizes. “I�m
very sorry. I didn’t mean to be so harsh. How long have you had arthritis?”
“Oh, I don’t have it, father. It says here that the pope does.”