Author: admin

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire. The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted, ”Let’s go!” The tense man sitting in the pilot’s seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically. ”Fly over the north side of the fire,” said the photographer, ”and make several low-level passes.” ”Why?” asked the nervous pilot. ”Because I’m going to take pictures!” yelled the photographer. ”I’m a photographer, and photographers take pictures.” The pilot replied, ”You mean you’re not the flight instructor?”

Llega la mujer embarzada a punto de dar a luz al hospital.

Entra a la sala de partos y la atiende el ginec�logo. Ya en el quir�fano el doctor la est� atendiendo, entonces sale el ni�o y se le resbala de las manos al doctor, y el ni�o cae al suelo.

R�pidamente el doctor lo levanta y dice a las enfermeras:

“Qu� resbalosos nacen los ni�os muertos, �verdad?”

Tragically, three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the
gates of heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter.
“When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you,
what would you like to hear them say about you?� asks St. Peter.
The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor
of my time, and a great family man.”
The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and
school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.”
The last guy replies, “I would like to hear them say…. LOOK!!! HE’S
MOVING!!!!”

Unable to attend his father’s funeral, a distant son called his brother and told him, “Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill.”

Later, he got a bill for $200, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200, which he also paid, figuring it was some incidental expense.

Bills for $200 kept arriving every month, and finally the man called his brother again to find out what was going on.

“Well,” said the other brother, “You said to do something nice for Dad. So I rented him a tuxedo.”

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Yisman

You’ve a face like a million dollars
all green and wrinkled.

A tired minister was at home resting, and through the window he saw a woman approaching his door. She was one of those too-talkative people, and he was not anxious to talk with her. He said to his wife, “I’ll just duck upstairs and wait until she goes away.”

An hour passed, then he tiptoed to the stair landing and listened….not a sound. He was very pleased, so he started down calling loudly to his wife, “Well, My Dear, did you get rid of that old bore at last?”

The next moment he heard the voice of the same woman caller, and she couldn’t possibly have missed hearing him. Two steps down, he saw them both staring up at him. It seemed truly a crisis moment.

The quick-thinking minister’s wife answered, “Yes, Dear, she went away over an hour ago. But Mrs. Jones has come to call in the meantime, and I’m sure you’ll be glad to greet her.”