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The Child and his parents

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There is this little boy. He was told to take a shower but he
wants someone with him. He asks his mother. She says no. The
little boy asks again, with the mother respoding no. Finally,
she agrees. She say to the boy, “Don’t look up or down.” In the
shower, the boy looks up and askes, “Mommy, mommy, what’s that?”
She responds, “Those are headlights.” Then the little boy looks
down. He asks “Mommy, mommy, what’s that?” She responds, “Thats
grass.” The next day, the boy askes his dad to go with him in
the shower. He says no. The little boy asks again, with the
father respoding no. Finally, he agrees. He say to the boy,
“Don’t look down.” In the shower, the boy looks down and askes,
“Daddy, daddy, what’s that?” He responds “That’s a snake.” A few
nights later, the little boy had a bad dream and wants to sleep
with his parents. They say no but the boy continues to ask. They
finally agree and they tell him, “Don’t look under the covers.”
The boy looks under the covers and says, “Mommy, Daddy, turn on
the headlights, there’s a snake in the grass!”

Last night

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A Russian party-official arrives late at night to his hotel (in Russia). He is
not surprised to find that his reservation has been mislaid but he is more than
a little peeved that his status in the party isn’t enough to get him a good room
anyway. However, the clerk insists, the only bed they have left is the fourth
bunk in a 4-bed dorm – he’ll have to make do with that. The Russian grumbles but
eventually he picks up his suitcase and heads for the dorm. On his way, he meets
a chamber-maid and thinking he might as well try to make friends with his
room-mates, he asks her to bring them four cups of tea.

As he enters the dorm, he finds that the other three guests are Polish, they
are having a fairly wild party and they’re very drunk. They also ignore him
totally from the moment he enters. After sitting there for several minutes, he
realizes he can’t stand them anymore and decides to pull a joke on them. He
stands up, grasps a floor lamp and speaking into the light-bulb as if it were a
microphone he says: “Comrade Colonel, we would like four cups of tea to our room
immediately!”

The Poles stare at him in disbelief, which turns to horror as
the chamber-maid knocks on the door and delivers the tea a few minutes later. In
about 30 seconds the Poles have all packed their bags and fled the hotel. Our
Russian gets the entire room to himself. He sleeps very soundly. The next
morning, however, as he’s checking out and is about to leave, the desk-clerk
calls after him: “By the way, Sir, the Comrade Colonel said to tell you he
appreciated your little joke last night!”

Med class

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A group of first-year medical students is gathered around an operating table for their first anatomy lesson with a dead body.

�As a doctor, you�ll need to develop two key skills,� the professor begins. �The first is stoicism. You can�t be disgusted by anything involving the human body.�

The professor then rolls the body over, sticks his finger into the corpse�s butt, withdraws it and sticks his finger in his mouth.

�Now do the same,� he instructs.

The horrified students hesitate, but eventually take turns dipping a finger into the cadaver�s anus and then sucking on it.

When everyone has finished, the professor continues, �The second skill is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and then I sucked on my index finger.”

“Pay attention!�

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo