A group of guys are on their way to a party, but couldn’t quite remember the address to the house. ”I’m sure this is the one,” said the driver. ”Well, I have got to go to the bathroom SO BAD.” Replied one of the others, ”I’ll go knock on the door, and check. If it’s the wrong house, at least I’ll get to a toilet!” So he gets out and walks to the front door. He rings it once….No answer. He rings it again…..Still no answer. So, he thinks, ”This is a big house, big party, maybe the party is outside, in the backyard.” So he walks around the house to the back, there was no one out there either. As he aproached the back door, he was suprized to find it unlocked, and opened. There was obviously no one home, so he figured he’d just quietly run inside real quick, and use there bathroom, no one would know. So, he goes inside but he can’t find the bathroom anywhere. So, he quickly ran up the stairs and searched, and searched, till finally as he opened a door to a small room, he was amazed to find a GOLDEN TOILET. He had never seen anything like it, but remembering that he was in a stranger’s house, and that they could at anytime return home, he quickly did his business and walked out. As he got in the car he excitedly told his friends of the AMAZING GOLDEN TOILET. They laughed in disbelief at his crazy tale. They pulled out of the driveway, arguing about it. They argued the whole way to the party.A couple of hours later, on the way home from the party. They drive past the house with the GOLDEN TOILET. And they guy insists on stopping so he could prove to his friends the these people really did have a GOLDEN TOILET. So, they agree to check it out. So they all walk up to the front door and ring the door bell. And a woman answers the door. ”Excuse me maam, but could you please let me show my friends here your GOLDEN TOILET, they don’t believe me!” ”So YOU’RE the guy!” The woman replies, then yells to her husband in the house, ”HONEY!?!…HERES THE GUY THAT POOPED IN YOUR TUBA!”’
Author: admin
Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn’t…
Two weeks ago was my 44th birthday and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning. I went down to breakfast knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday” and probably have a present for me. She didn’t even say “Good Morning”, let alone any “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, that’s wives for you. The children will remember. “The children came down to breakfast and didn’t say a word.When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, “Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday.” I felt a little better. Someone had remembered. I worked until noon, then Janet knocked on my door and said, “You know it is such a beautiful day outside and it is your birthday, let’s go to lunch, just you and me.” I said, “By George, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.We went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go. We went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously. On the way back to the office, she said, “You know, it is such a beautiful day, we don’t need to go back to the office, do we?” I said, “No, I guess not.” She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.”After arriving at her apartment she said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable. Sure,” I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children and dozens of our friends. They were all singing Happy Birthday…….and there I sat on the couch…….naked.
A quote on marriage
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Aburrido, como choque de tortugas.
Aburrido, como choque de tortugas.
Bueno, como Lassie medicado.
Enredado, como pelea de pulpos.
F�cil, como la tabla del uno.
Falso, como billete de 3 d�lares.
In�til, como limpiaparabrisas de submarino.
Ocupado, como plomero del Titanic.
Peligroso, como cirujano con hipo.
Resbaloso, como tel�fono de carnicero.
Foot Doctor
A drunk stumbled into a podiatrist’s office, mistaking it for a whorehouse. The nurse asked him his name, then told him to go behind the screen and stick it out. So, naturally, the drunk weaved over the screen, dropped his pants and stuck his penis through the screen. The nurse walked over, shrieked, and dropped her tray of instruments. ‘That’s not a foot!’ she screamed. The drunk replied, ‘Sshorry, lady! I didn’t know there was a minimum.’
English Channel
A blonde woman competed with a brunette and redheaded woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition.
The brunette came in first, the redhead second.
The blonde woman finally reached shore completely exhausted.
After being revived with blankets and coffee, she remarked; “I don’t want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms.”
The bus…
what do you call a bus full of black people?
a rotten banana
Hospital Horror Stor
Two doctors were in a hospital hallway one day complaining about Nurse Jenny.”She’s incredibly dumb. She does everything absolutely backwards.”, said one doctor.”Just last week, I told her to give a patient 2 milligrams of Percocet every 10 hours. She gave him 10 milligrams every 2 hours. He nearly died on us!”The second doctor said, “That’s nothing. Earlier this week, I told her to give a patient an enema every 24 hours. She tried to give him 24 enemas in one hour! The guy nearly exploded!”Suddenly, they hear a blood-curdling scream from down the hall, “Oh my gosh!” said the first doctor, “I just realised I told Nurse Jenny to prick Mr. Smith’s boil!”
Little boy blue
Knock Knock!
Who’s There?
Little boy blue!
Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson!!
Why couldnt Sadam sleep with his wife?
Q: Why cant Sadam have sex with his wife?
A: Everytime he opened her legs he saw bush!
Armless girl
one day a man sees a girl with no arms and no legs crying on a bench.So he goes over to her and saise whats wrong.She saise I have no arms and I have no legs.So he saise You should try to make the most outta that.She saise,but I cant because all my friends are out there swimming and having fun but me Ive never been kissed or fucked.So the man kisses her.Then he throws her overboard and saise youve been fucked now.
Michael Jackson at J.C. Penny’s
Did you hear Michael Jackson was in the mall today at J.C.
Penny’s? Yea, he heard little boy’s pants were half off!