The book you spent $20.95 for today will come out in paperback tomorrow.
Author: admin
Recycle a condom
how do you recycle a condom?
turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it
Punch
What is a boxer’s favourite drink?
Punch.
No Fishing Bait
Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon
realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he
happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm.
The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm.
Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched
him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went
about his fishing. An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug
at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three
more worms.
Nantucket
there once was a man from nantucket,
whose dick was so long he could suck it.
he said with a grin,as he wiped off his chin
if my ear were a cunt i would fuck it
YO MAMA
Yo mama head so bald that when she go to sleep and put her head on the pillow her wigg slip off!
24 questions from George Carlin’s warped brain
: 24 questions from George Carlin’s warped brain:1. If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?2. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?3. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled a them would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?4. What’s another word for synonym?5. Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do: ‘practice’?6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?7. When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?8. Where do forest rangers go to ‘get away from it all’?9. Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?10. Why do they report power outages on TV?11. What should you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?12. Is it possible to be totally partial?13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?14. Would a fly that loses it wings be called a walk?15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?16. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their headlights off?17. If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?18. If a man speaks in the forest and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?19. If a turtle loses his shell, is it naked or homeless?20. Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?21. Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?22. If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?23. Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?24. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Tounge twister’s for the BEST
these tounge twisters are the worst
try saying them asfast as you can 5 times these might even be
the shortest…
The Sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick
can you do it ?
now try this one…..
Swan swam over the sea,
swim,swan,swim.
swan swam back again,
well swum swan.
betcha cant do it pass it on if you really like them
Coyboy In Church
One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.The cowboy said, “I’m not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I’d feed him.”So the minister began his sermon.One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he liked the sermon.The cowboy answered slowly, “Well, I’m not very smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn’t feed him all the hay.”
Who is Marylou?
A woman came up behind her husband while he was enjoying his morning coffee
and slapped him on the back of the head. “I found a piece of paper in your pants
pocket with the name ‘Marylou’ written on it,” she said, furious. “You had
better have an explanation.”
“Calm down, honey,” the man replied. “Remember last week when I was at the dog
track? That was the name of the dog I bet on.”
The next morning, his wife snuck up on him and smacked him again.
“What was that for?” he complained.
“Your dog called last night.”
man and three nuns
a man and a woman were having plaesure in a car. the man got
hungry and bought two snickers. hewalked out of the store and
saw three nuns,so he jumped in front of the bushes.one nun saw
his pee wee and said a snack machine, so she threw some money on
the ground and pulled on his penis and threw out one of his
snickers, the second nun does the same and he threwout his his
second snickers.the third nun does the same and she says ooo!
hand creme.
An Old Man’s Woes
An sad, old man sitting was sitting on a park bench when along came a police officer.
The officer asked the old man why he was so upset.
The old man replied, “Every morning I wake up with a wonderful 20 year old blonde. She cooks great meals including sausage, and bacon and everything I love. Then we make passionate love in bed. Afterwards, she gives me a bath, with handdrawn hot water, cooks me lunch and followed by more passionate love. In the evening, we’ll have top the day off with a fantastic diner and yet more wonderful love.
The police officer gets a puzzled look on his face and asks, “Well, what seems to be the problem?”
The old man replied with a sad look on his face, “I can’t remember where I live!”