Did you hear that in response to President Bill Clinton’s habit of dropping in on the local McDonalds, the McDonald’s national management has announced a commemorative double cheeseburger, the McClinton?Of course, when you get it, the price has doubled, you never get the fries you were originally promised, and it’s got half the meat.
Author: admin
Creation of Cats
On the first day of creation, God created the cat. On the second day, God created man to serve the cat. On the third, God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat. On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man could labour for the good of the cat. On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might not play with it. On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke. On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but he had to scoop the litterbox.
One Armed Italian
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.
The bartender and his camel
One day a man walked in to a bar and asked the bartender oh bartender what is that $20.00 for so the bartender said well whoever can make my camel laugh get the money so the man walks behind and makes the camel laugh so the bartender asked the man how did you make him laugh, so the man replies oh its a secret, so the next day the same man walks in the bar and sees $40.00 dollars on the bar and asked the bartender what is that money for and he says well who ever can make my camel cry wins the money so the man walks behind and made the camel cry so the bartender asked the man how did you make him cry and he said well the firt time i told your camel my ball’s were bigger then his and the second time i pulled my pants down and my balls were bigger then his…..
Underwear will do
The husband came home after his annual physical and told his wife the doctor
needs a urine specimen, a stool sample, and a semen sample. “That’s easy,” said
the wife. “Just give him a pair of your underwear.”
Joe mama
Joe mama is like a Tv. A two year old can turn her on.
Mommy’s Sponge
A little boy had never seen his mother naked before. One day he
saw and then he went to his father and asked, “Daddy, whats that
hairy thing down there. The father didn’t know what to say. He
quickly said, “Oh thats a sponge.” The next day the father got
home and asked the boy what he did today. He said, “Well, I
watched cartoons while mommy was upstairs washing the plummer’s
face.”
Where’s the wife?
Three couples went out camping.
The three husbands stayed in one tent and the three wives stayed in the other.
At about 3 in the morning, Bob woke up and yelled, “Wow, unbelievable!”
Bill woke up and asked, “What’s going on?”
Bob said, “I’ve got to go to the other tent and find my wife.”
“How come?”
“To have sex! I just woke up with the biggest hard-on I’ve ever had in my life!”
After a pause, Bill said, “Do you want me to come with you?”
“Hell, no! Why would I want you to do that?”
“Because that’s my dick you’re holding.”
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
2 Blondes And A Fire
Two blondes realize that their apartment is on fire and go out onto the balcony.
“Help, help!” yells one of the blondes.
“Help us, help us!” yells the other.
“Maybe it would help if we yelled together,” said the first blonde.
“Good idea,” said the other.
“Together, together!”
Q: How many chickens
Q: How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb?A: None. They’re all far too busy crossing the road.
Garbage Can
Yo momma so poor, I saw her diggin in a trash can. When I asked her what she was doin, she said,” grocery shoppin!”
Doesn’t belong
Which of the following doesn’t belong?
(a) meat
(b) eggs
(c) wife
(d) blow job
(D) A blowjob, because its possible to beat your meat, your eggs or your wife, but you can’t beat a blowjob!
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Tantilazing