Yours Fun Portal !
En un restaurante, un comensal le ordena al mesero:
“Mesero, d�me un huevo duro”.
El mesero lo atiende y le lleva el huevo. Tiempo despu�s, el tipo grita enojado:
“Mesero, este huevo est� blando”.
El mesero se acerca a la mesa, mira al huevo y exclama:
“�C�llate, huevo hijo de puta!”
Two blondes are walking in the woods when one looks down and
says, “Look dog poop!” The other bends down and smells it,
“Smells like dog poop.” They both stick there fingers in it,
“Feels like dog poop.” They taste it, “Taste like dog poop!” One
says to the other, “Sure glad we didin’t step in it.”
Hola, me llamo Chal-li, acabas de ser infectado por el �ltimo tipo de virus creado, el virus manual Chal-li. Soy un virus humilde y no me reenv�o autom�ticamente ni borro ning�n disco al ser recibido por lo tanto agradecer�a tu colaboraci�n.
Lo primero que debes hacer es ir a la carpeta de Windows y borrar unos cuantos ficheros, si puede ser que suenen importantes como el win.ini, command.com y alguno otro que se os ocurra.
A continuaci�n reenv�ame a todos los nombres de tu libreta de direcciones.
Si quieres darme m�s fama ser�a un detalle que por �ltimo borraras el disco duro o le prendieras fuego a la CPU.
Muchas gracias por tu atenci�n y te agradezco de antemano tu ayuda.
Vovochka asks the teacher:
– Why is that: two halves of my pen screw and they don’t have any children?
The teacher is furious and she runs to the director. He comes to the class and
Vovochka repeats his question.
– Haven’tcha noticed the spring in there?
En una entrevista a un viejo lobo de mar:
“Capit�n, de sus muchas aventuras por el mundo, �cu�l recuerda como la m�s terrible?”
“�Hombre! Fue en 1977, tras un largo viaje por los mares de China y Jap�n. Aquella vez, al regresar a mi casa, se me ocurri� botar las cenizas de mi cigarrillo en el piso que acababa de fregar mi mujer, y… �para qu� contarle!”
George W. Bush was passing through an airplane terminal and he
noticed an old man in a long white robe, with a long white
beard, long white hair and carrying two stone tablets in his
arms. He approached the man and asked reverently, “Aren’t you
Moses?”
But the man wouldn’t listen to him and continued walking. George
asked him again, “Aren’t you Moses?”
The old man continued ignoring him, even turning his back on
little Bush. George grabs the man’s arm, looks him right in the
eye and insists, “Answer me — Aren’t you Moses?”
The man replies, “I’m not saying a thing! The last time I spoke
to a Bush I ended up roaming the desert for 40 years!”
A man appears before a judge one day, asking for a divorce. The judge quietly reviews some papers and then says, “Please tell me why you are seeking a divorce.”
“Because,” the man says,”I live in a two-story house.”
The Judge replies, “What kind of a reason is that? What is the big deal about a two-story house?”
The man answers, “Well Judge, one story is ‘I have a headache’ and the other story is ‘It’s that time of the month.’
A little boy walks up to his mother and asks her “Mommy is God a male or female?”” His mother thought for a second and said “”Well God is both male and female.”” The little boy left and came back 5 minutes later to ask his mother “”Mommy is God black or white?”” His mother replied “”Well God is both.”” The boy being confused asked his mother “”Well mommy if God is all of those things than is God gay or strait?”” His mother replied in a shocking way “”Well God is also both of those.”” After hearing this answer the boy looked up at his mother and asked “”Mommy is God Michael Jackson?””
“
There is black boy, Malcolm; a white boy, James; and a Mexican girl
Jaunita in a spelling bee at school.
To win the spelling bee the student must spell the word correctly and use
the word in a sentence.
Teacher: James, spell dictate.
James: d-e-c-t-a-t-e
Teacher: Sorry that’s wrong.
Teacher: Juanita spell dictate.
Juanita: d-i-k-t-a-t-e
Teacher: Sorry that’s wrong.
Teacher: Malcolm spell dictate.
Malcolm: d-i-c-t-a-t-e
Teacher: Correct Malcolm. Now use it in a sentence.
Malcolm: Juanita, how my dic tate las nite?
Knock KnockWho’s there?Clarence!Clarence who?Clarence sale!
LICENSE TO STEALTwo Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off the truck. They panicked and fled, leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper.
Indifference will be the downfall of mankind, but who cares?