YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN ARIZONA WHEN:
– You’ve signed so many petitions to recall governors that you can’t
remember the name of the incumbent.
– You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
– You can say Hohokam and people don’t think you’re laughing funny.
– You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
– You see more irrigation water on the street than there is in the
Salt River.
– You know a swamp cooler is not a happy hour drink.
– You can say 115 degrees without fainting.
– You can be in the snow, then drive for an hour and it will be over
100 degrees.
– You have to go to a fake beach for some fake waves.
– You discover, in July, that it only takes two fingers to drive your
car.
– You can make sun tea instantly.
– You run your air conditioner in the middle of winter so you can use
your fireplace.
– You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of
distance.
– You realize that Valley Fever isn’t a disco dance.
– Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
– You can pronounce the words: “Saguaro”, “Tempe”, “Gila Bend”, “San
Xavier”, “Canyon de Chelly”, “Mogollon Rim”, “Cholla”, and
Tlaquepaque”.
– It’s noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person
is moving on the streets.
– You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
– Sunscreen is sold year round, kept at the front of the checkout
counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just
to go to Circle K.
– Some fool can market mini-misters for joggers and some other fools
will actually buy them.
– Hot air balloons can’t go up, because the air outside is hotter
than the air inside.
– No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car.
– You can understand the reason for a town named “Why.”