The President was awakened one night by an urgent call from the
Pentagon. “Mr. President,” said the four-star general, barely to
contain himself, “there’s good news and bad news.” “Oh, no,”
muttered the President, “Well, let me have the bad news first.”
“The bad news, sir, is that we’ve been invaded by creatures from
another planet.” “Gosh, and the good news?” “The good news, sir,
is that they eat reporters and pee oil.”