14> Automatically removes copyright notices from humor lists.
13> Minesweeper now runs really, really, *really* fast.
12> Garunteed 100% Mathomaticly Ackurat
11> Far superior to its brothers, Pentium III Mike and Pentium III Ernie.
10> Goes great with Pentium III salsa!
9> Converts your 3-month-old, $2000 computer into a handy boat anchor.
8> In benchmark tests against other chips, it consistently delivered vastly higher prices.
7> First processor to be made entirely out of Havarti cheese and raisins.
6> Now Featuring, “Good ol’ Vulcan Logic”
5> Like all Pentiums, it provides its own fireworks at midnight, January 31, 1999.
4> In anticipation of Y10K, all years are stored as Roman numerals.
3> Secretly monitors the Internet for new porn sites, which are then automatically added to the President’s bookmark file.
2> Runs at a blazing 600 EthelMertz per second!
1> Allows net geeks to go twice as long without human contact.
[ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ] [ The Top 5 List [email protected] http://www.topfive.com ]